monks write blogs so so can I

While I was working last week, in between my "working", I happened upon a blog by a Catholic Monk Priest guy and it occurred to me, "If this dude can write a blog, so can I." So in an attempt to get something down before the month of July is completely over I am here at my computer typing at 10 PM on Saturday night. Do I have life changing words to share? ... ... no...not really.... chirp of the cricket... but never the less my thoughts are no less worthy than the zillion of other bloggers in the blogosphere. (I am giving myself a little pep talk here. I have to do that. I live a lot in my head, too much actually and sometimes I get so caught up I don't let anyone in, even the idea of anyone. I can't keep waiting for an emotional cheerleader to appear every time I am down. I will have to cheer for myself instead. Take the bull by the horns, take matters into my own hands, grab life by the balls... ok maybe that was a bit much. But maybe we all need to do that, cheer for ourselves I mean. Every once in a while, take a timeout and say "Go for it!" Sometimes I think we need to parent ourselves once in while too but that is another issue.)

So lets recap where we are at since our last meeting:

Nationally we are on the brink of financial collapse and our legislative branch is being held hostage by a few people who apparently really like pretending to reenact events in the 1700's. Nice. We're all still struggling to eek out a life on this complex spinning marble called earth, our dwelling. We are confused as ever about why things are the way they are and how much longer they will be so. Simple answers no longer sooth as they once did - we want to see "The Wizard behind the curtain" - though we know we have no right. So we go on, breathing in and breathing out while we can, at time stopping to consciously take that deep breath but more often than not breathing without thinking. Some have stopped their breathing though their existing goes on in forms we no longer see.

Spiritually I am seeking the eternal fountain, longing to take a drink from the Well I once knew but somehow was lost to me in the desert wilderness that is dark. Many a savage beast, some in stealth disguises - wolves among the sheep - have taken chunks of my heart and wounded my mind. Many missing pieces I fear are lost forever and the scabs of the wounds are slow to come and when the wound looks it healed, it in time is found to once again be bleeding. The fountain I seek is not the mythical fountain of youth but eternal Fountain of Life. I knew it waters once. I sat by them, drank often from its continual spring. But now I am parched through and through. No fake kool-aid will sooth this thirst any longer. I need the waters that drive away thirst forever... 

Psalm 143
A psalm of David.
¹ LORD, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.
² Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.
³ The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in the darkness
like those long dead.
⁴ So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.
⁵ I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.
⁶ I spread out my hands to you;
I thirst for you like a parched land.
⁷ Answer me quickly, LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
⁸ Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life.
⁹ Rescue me from my enemies, LORD,
for I hide myself in you.
¹⁰ Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.
¹¹ For your name’s sake, LORD, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
¹² In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.