unshackle me: freedom from facebook

Is Facebook making us sad? is an article I stumbled upon and it is like I wrote it myself. I mean I get this article. If you are living in the digital age this article should be mandatory reading. It speaks to me because it echos what I have been saying for sometime about Facebook and actually it articulates it in a way I probably never could. If you are a Facebook lover now may be the time to avert your eyes. It is no secret that I... well... rather loath Facebook actually. There, I have posted it for the world to see. (Baby steps Jenny...baby steps...) Not that I or anyone should have to apologize for their feelings; it's what one does with their feelings that needs to be explained but I digress.

It is of course common to love what agrees with our own views and disdain what does not. Self-affirming things are preferable to things that challenge us or disagree but it is of course things dissenting with our opinion and view that ultimately stretch and grow us. Well rounded individuals hear both sides of arguments, seek out the big picture, the reality of a situation. (George W if you are reading that is for you. There is nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with some dissenting opinion and if you are a President of the USA it should be mandatory. But again I digress...)

On the heels of this article, I give a shout out to fellow Facebook wounded. You are not alone if you have felt "sad" after a scroll through Facebook "news." You are not crazy. You are not a bitter and cruel harpy. I ask what will you do about it? Will you continue this self-destructive pattern, thinking that next time you log on it will be different than the other 100 times before or will you "unplug" and live life with the eyes you were born with instead of the eyes the virtual illusionary world Facebook has sold to you?

-Pause from my Norma Ray Matrix speech to agonize about deleting myself from Facebook...should I do it? Can I?? If I tell others its OK to back off, why then do I struggle to delete it? Shouldn't I delete it? Why not, if people know me they know my cell or my email...there is no reason why they shouldn't be able to communicate with me if they want to. Yes...yes...why leave the option open for temptation; 99% of the time regret it when I succumb to logging on...what is this hold Facebook has over me? Why this deep turmoil inside? It shouldn't have this much power. There in lies the answer. 

Goodbye Facebook. It's been the longest breakup of my life.

Free at last! Thank God almighty, free at last!

it's a mad mad mad world

Hold the phone: the Catholic pope has blessed social networking. The pope has encouraged Catholics to and I quote "join the network of relationships which the digital era has made possible."(I wonder if he has watched the The Social Network - great movie!- but I digress.) I stumbled upon this article via Google. Since this is a blog about social decorum in the virtual world, I thought this was pretty interesting:

http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/01/24/faithful-facebook-pope-benedict-blesses-social-networking/

This pronouncement has a palpable ploy vibe to it. It's like, "Hey world are Catholics hip or what!" Or what indeed. In the article the pope says "It is important always to remember that virtual contact cannot and must not take the place of direct human contact with people at every level of our lives." The article also points out that the pontiff does not have a Facebook page. It is creepy to think of someone with the popes flamboyant wardrobe choices being on Facebook, but again I digress. At least he agrees that direct human contact trumps virtual contact. I think that is a really interesting and valid point. Direct human contact is important in "EVERY level of our lives". Whether it is checking out at the store or going to the bank - we can go a whole day, running oodles of errands and never have to talk to a single soul. We are sacrificing temporal convenience for fellow human contact. The irony is we are probably in such a hurry because we need to get back to our android blackberry crackberry. We are choosing to rest the social muscle so to speak and muscles not exercised get atrophy.Could this be why there is such incivility, hatred, stupidity, and violence in the world because our social tolerance isn't being exercised daily?

We miss out when it comes to virtual communicating, especially Facebook. It is a strange thing with Facebook that what is personal becomes so impersonal. I mean an actual person is typing and clicking on the other end of the web page but that doesn't make the communication being shared between personal. I did a Google search once with the keywords: "facebook" and "unhealthy" and "relationships". The results were eye opening to me. Articles popped up with the titles like "Facebook ends relationships" even "Facebook ends marriages." Facebook provides too much accessibility without any real time merit. I met you once two years ago at a function and now I have access to every place you've ever went, who you went with, what you felt while you were there- it is too much. I feel like I really know you because I have all this information but I don't know you. I know you but I don't know you. We don't speak. We have no private communication together yet I have 24/7 access into your world. The other problem with Facebook is that it is the ever open window to the past most of which should remain behind a secure wall of thick glass. Memories should sometimes remain just that - memories. An example would be access to old high school sweethearts should remain off limits to the relationally couple committed. Temptation under the name of "trust me" is a precarious road.

Overexposure is no longer just for movie stars and reality show hacks, the average anybody thanks to Twitter and Facebook can be overexposed easily. Facebook especially is really good at making accessibility without intimacy available and that is a terrible danger. If human beings are wired socially to form deep lasting connections, how does Facebook as a whole help that? We form relational bonds by sharing information together. Period. Now if we share information in a cavalier, mass way isn't that tandem to social whoring? Pardon my terminology if you are offended but seriously what would you call someone who shares every moment of their life with everybody, where relational privacy is virtually nil or nonexistent? Or to go in the other direction what would you call someone who edits all the moments of their lives in order to show only their best, happy, fun side? Why can't we love the one we are with so to speak and leave it at that? Why can't I go to the movies with Betty and share that experience just with Betty? Why isn't that enough? Why do I have to tell everyone I am at the movies with Betty? Why can't I keep my ripped abs to myself? (which does not describe in any way the condition of my abs) Why do I need to put photos of myself that I think are hot on the web for comment? Ego boosting and grand standing isn't just something politicians do. I am not writing all of this to the non believing world but to believers, professing believers in Christ. Lets be spiritually discerning about this and about everything to the glory of God.

I don't know Benedict, I think your blessing of digital network relationships is spiritually and relationally a wrong one...