With all you are - who do you love?

My first blogging entry in 4+ years. Wow. Time gets away.

What was in those 4+ years?

Retrospective personal assessment: I graduated nursing school. I got the first job I applied for in nursing and passed NCLEX first try (miracle of Jesus). I learned to live with the consequences of my choices not without regret. I also learned to live with the consequences of other peoples choices with much tears and sorrow. I got to work with strong amazing women juggling so much and I got to feel what it's like to be part of a true team. I was the victim of two car accidents. I got one tattoo which turned into 8 tattoos. I felt the imminent real fear of becoming an orphan with my mom's first massive heart attack followed a year or so later by her second and then with the daunting diagnosis of heart failure. I moved out onto my own for the first time in my life (long overdue). I made my own home from scratch all by myself. I worked night shift and lost parts of my sanity. I got assaulted by a patient. I learned what good leadership is by unfortunately experiencing the lack of it. I got my BSN while working full time. I applied for and transferred to a different nursing position. I learned that the grass is never completely greener on the other side. I learned to assess and go after what's truly important to me. I worked with amazing, generous surgeons. I applied for and transferred to another new position in nursing. I lost one beloved animal friend and rescued another. I learned that the love of my Gammy is core thing in my life and to make peace with the past.

Question: Where is God in this?

He was right there though a majority of the time I didn't see it or care.

The verse of the day on my desk calendar is Matthew 22:37 "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and with all your mind." I think that's the heart of the matter. You must love the Lord with all of your efforts, faculties, fancies, and thoughts. When faced with a choice that the secular world is calling "good" - stand it up the test of "who is it loving?"  Who is this action serving? Who does it show I love when I...? Does it show I love God utmost when I...? I think it is a great clarifying litmus test for all of us. With all you are - who do you love?

defining BOLD

Merriam Webster Dictionary - Definition of BOLD:
1a: fearless before danger b: showing or requiring a fearless daring spirit
2: impudent, presumptuous
3 obsolete : assured, confident
4: sheer, steep <bold cliffs>
5: adventurous, free <a bold thinker>
6: standing out prominently

I was talking with a friend the other night and Rob Bell's new book came into the discussion. The word "bold" was thrown around regarding Rob Bell's exegesis regarding God, love and hell. The word "bold" was being used with positive connotations, "Rob Bell is being bold with his new book." It has troubled me ever since. "Bold" is not a word I would use to describe Bell's misusing biblical text and attempting to dissuade people away from truthful, contextual biblical interpretation; I would call this heretical, tragic and disheartening but I would never call it "bold". If Rob Bell has a problem with God and who God shows himself to be through the text of the bible, I would respect him more if he rejected scripture entirely instead of trying to twist biblical texts to say things that it doesn't say. Rob Bell isn't being bold, he is being impudent and insolent. If Bell were just some dude who wrote a book attempting to start a discussion about Hell, God and love - that would be fine and that not something people should fear BUT that's not what he is doing. Bell isn't just some "dude", he is a pastor, a teacher and supposed to be an apparent spiritual Christian leader and when he says or writes something, he is laying out a theology. With this book he's attempting to promote a certain viewpoint and dissuade people of differing views into believing his view; this is a serious thing especially if he is wrong.

Just because something true makes me uncomfortable or is hard for me as a mortal to completely grasp, doesn't mean it becomes not true. No man has the ability in and of themselves to define absolute truth - that's what makes it absolute truth. Absolute truth lies outside of mankind in the being and personhood of God who is outside of all things and yet made all things. This is part of the great mystery and power that make God, God. If I completely understood God I would be God. I know there are a lot of people who can't accept this.

Maybe I am just being too much of stickler here regarding the word bold. In the end I guess it really struck me because I equate whether rightly or wrongly the word bold with the word beautiful. It is beautiful when something that you imagine to be small and weak does something bold and brave. It is beautiful when a person is bold and shares something unknown about themselves with others. A lot of things are BOLD and beautiful, I just don't think Rob Bell's recent publishing is one of them.

the warning Bell

"This is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4:10

"And now I ask you, dear lady— not as though I were writing you a new commandment, but the one we have had from the beginning— that we love one another. And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it. For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not confess the coming of Jesus Christ in the flesh. Such a one is the deceiver and the antichrist." 2 John 1:5-7

I have been thinking about God a lot this week, so much so that I realize how much I haven't been thinking about Him over the last many months. These last days I have been bringing my issues with God out onto the table instead of harboring them in darkness; issues like my deep mistrust of God and His love, my anger that Jesus had to die for me and my confusion about who is right when it comes to understanding God. Let me say that bringing these issues out was scary but ultimately I am finding that only through honesty and contemplation can anything really be dealt with.

The flip side to bringing out my issues with God is that God reminds me of his issues with me (and the rest of humanity). It is built into man to more readily take issue with God than to realize that it is really only he who has just cause to be at issue. The truth is, mankind isn't what he was created to be; the other truth is that it's not Gods fault.


Bell's version of love is ultimately toxic

Rob Bell has a new book coming out called "Love Wins." There was an article in TIME about it and the buzz has been all over the Internet. Evidently in the book, Bell claims that no one goes to hell; there is no hell. It's a pretty controversial things for pastor, teacher, shepherd of God's people, even just a proclaiming Christian to say. I haven't read the book and I really have no desire to expect that I know a lot of people my age are going to read it at face value, love it and believe it: that is what scares me.

Why do so many think that God allowing for a Hell is a bad thing for God to do? Can man (the created thing) call God (the Creator) unjust? I don't think so. The argument I have heard from some goes like this: "It would be unjust of God to punish man infinitely in hell for the things he did and believed in a finite lifetime." To that I say, "Well than I guess let hell stand to show you that mans life is not finite." What we believe here, right now, in this breath and the next one to come - really matters! How what we believe affects what we do, what we say, what we think - really matters! It matters! Instead of pointing us into an approved stupor of existentialism and nihilism shouldn't a brother in Christ be going in the other direction and point is into abounding hope and unspeakable joy that exists in Christ Jesus!?! Instead of plunging us into a fatalistic love affair with ourselves shouldn't a brother in Christ be plunging us into a love affair with "the glory of God in the face of Christ Jesus"!?! Instead of encouraging a man-centered gospel with a bent on loving man created art, man-centered labels and titles and pleasures shouldn't a brother in Christ be encouraging a primary love of God and furthering a passion to glorify God utmost in the things we mere men make and do!?! 

This is an official warning bell against Rob Bell with a call to get your face to the ground in prayer that God transforms his heart, mind and soul. And till that happens keeps his false doctrines from harming other people, believing and not.

Below is a link to a God-centered review of Rob Bell's book, "Love Wins":
God Is Still Holy and What You Learned in Sunday School Is Still True: A Review of “Love Wins”