God's Promises: Can you name just one?

If the heart is the fountain of our true emotions, what does it mean when it ceases to flow or even have a trickle of joy/gladness/hope in God? If God is the greatest glory, wisdom, and might that exists in and outside of time, how can it at times stop feeling that way to us or cease seem to be marvelous to us?

Our hearts are fickle contrary things. Sometimes they are bursting with hope, love, and trust in God only to a few weeks, days, or moments later be a lifeless desert, filled with darkness, disinterest, and despondency.

These extremes in our hearts condition can be caused by different things. Sometimes the cause is identifiable - a change or uncertainty has approached and its quenched the life giving water because it has shaken our trust and faith. Other times a new flashy fake love (idol) has dethroned Him as King in our eyes. And yet there are times when nothing can be pinpointed as the source of the drought - all we know is something is off, missing, not right.

I think we go through these highs and lows because:

1. We are human - weak, fragile, fleeting creatures and these extremes we suffer from should not lead us away from Him but draw us closer to Him. He is merciful, kind, and abounding in love to those who seek Him. It's a call for us to not ever let a circumstance or feeling stop our communication with Him. Talk to Him about your highs and lows, seek His help and council, cry out to Him literally even, read His words, recall what He had done for you and for others.
2. It's a great chance to remember Jesus. Jesus our savior. Jesus our King. Jesus our Hope. Jesus our Lamb. Jesus our Victor. Jesus, who lives to intercede for us. Jesus. He was fully God and lived fully as a man just like us. He sympathizes with our sorrows and understands our needs. Whether you are on the mountaintop of great connection in which God feels so near or in the lions den with enemies spiritual and physical all around you - Jesus' life show a God who never forsakes or leaves those who trust Him despite the circumstances. The ups and downs of life are not only just happening to us alone for we all have them, they are not catching God by surprise, they are not evidence that God has lost control - they are opportunities to centralize Him as the One certainty of life and hope of the soul. Recalibrate your compass to what is true. If there is one good thing to obsess over in this world, it's Jesus the Son of God and that because of Him we are redeemed from our sins, daughters and sons of God, secure forever, seated with Him now, the list goes on and on.

When we are in a valley of darkness, may we remember it's just a shadow, The Light giver and maker has never left us and His character is a proven constant, we can trust He will never leave us. If we can remember just one promise of God may we remember Jesus who fulfilled so many of them and is where our hope can rest with confidence. He is risen! He is alive! He is our Amen Forever! I can't wait to be with Him forever - Can you? xo

"woman with a broken heart"

Clickable link: Hannah's Vow

"I prayed for this boy, and since the LORD gave me what I asked Him for, I now give the boy to the LORD. For as long as he lives, he is given to the LORD."

___________________________________________________

I am going to make, what is for me, a rather bold declaration: God is giving. May seem like a dumb obvious anticlimactic realization but it's extremely significant to me.

If I had something near an eternal want, a personal desire before the LORD, it would be to know beyond what I can know, that I have loved another and been loved by them in return. I don't trust my knowledge and I know my memory forsakes me. This love I desire would not be the worlds soiled definition but the sharp bright love of healing light from The Source of life.

We're often blinded to the reality that what we've asked for, prayed for, desired, sought out, and wept over - WE'VE RECEIVED. We ask God for things because we know that only He can really give them to us. What our hands alone can make doesn't long satisfy and never truly fills. All things are His. He gave Sarah and Abraham, Isaac. He gave Hannah, Samuel. To all who receive Him, He gives the right to be children of God (John 1:12). God gives, He's always giving.

And because what we receive is given to us from God, it's important to remember that it doesn't then become ours: it's still ever Gods. The desire to own, to possess for ourselves, runs deeper than we know. Belonging is knitted into our DNA.

I have wept, sobbed to the point of incoherency, in the darkness of nights past. I have bitterly wept and cried out "How much longer will You ignore me?! How much longer will You make me wait for my life to begin?!" Like gazing through a ethereal veil, is the truth that God answers prayer in ways too often unseen by us. I asked God to give me a man to love and He has. He's given me a man that I can't predict, can't tame, can't clasp, might extremely likely be unable to have - God's given me what I asked for in a sense, and in His wisdom forces me to give it back into His more capable, wise, strong hands.

I write this with the beginnings of tears because it's not easy. As Job, I again am brought down kneeling to the ground in helpless awe, crying out, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will leave this life. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away. BLESSED BE THE NAME OF THE LORD." Job 1:21

John Piper, I love you.

"...sexual sin is a symptom, not the disease. People give way to sexual sin because they don’t have the fullness of joy and gladness in Christ. Their spirits are not steadfast and firm and established. They waver. They are enticed, and they give way because God does not have the place in our feelings and thoughts that he should."- A Broken and Contrite Heart God Will Not Despise

I thank God for you John Piper.

we don't but we can

We don't talk about it.

We don't talk about whether the Rapture Doctrine is biblical and when it started.
We don't talk about the damage wrong sincere beliefs do to the innocent.
We don't talk about the theocracy craving far right here in our own homeland.
We don't talk about the political "Christian" posers.
We don't talk about it.

We don't talk about why Mother Theresa more often felt far from God, not close to him.
We don't talk about how the Christian experience is at times is a lonely experience.
We don't talk about what makes Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons beliefs wrong.
We don't confront with the truth and thus spread light. We are always defending, never offending.
We don't talk about how attendance isn't the same as presence. 
We don't talk about sacrificing our whole selves for Him.
We don't talk about it.

We don't value the inner-self above the outer body. 
We don't talk about rampant promiscuity.
We don't talk about the sacrificial offerings women are taught to make regarding their virtue. 
We don't talk about the reasons why women kill other little women growing inside themselves. 
We don't talk about it. 

We don't talk to one another alone, instead we face our image to the whole world & know not 1 person. 
We don't talk to those touched with a soul more melancholy.
We don't talk to the one who wounded us inside.
We don't talk to the person in the seat beside us. 
We don't but we can.

the trusting

God isn't counting on you. God doesn't have all his hopes wrapped up in you. God's sovereignty will not be upended because you mess up, screwed up, failed or fall short. God is big, really really big; way bigger than our individual failings and way bigger than our corporate "successes". Please stop carrying the burden of the misconception that God is "counting on us" because it's toxic. We aren't meant to be the Trustee (the one who manages the big picture and controls ultimate endings); we are meant to be the trusting. Whatever we do, we should do out of trust in God and faith in His Son. We should never act from the belief that God is trusting in us and needs our "gifts". Instead we should be humbled that God is able to make anything good from us, truly! glory be to God! "For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)

When we fall short, when we are acutely aware of our sinfulness before a holy God, when we are perceiving the awe, splendor and majesty of God revealed to us through Jesus Christ - it will shrink us into silent reverence and worship, a fear drawing us closer to God not further away. When our gifts fall short, when we who are good at speaking can't project our voice, when we who write can't find the right words, when we who lead take a stumble - we need to know that God isn't diminished. Our seeming failures and many weakness aren't to be equated with God failing or being weak. Don't trust in yourself but trust in God!

This is not to say that God doesn't have expectations for us. There are ways he wants us to behave and things expects us to do but our obedience must flow out of our faith in Him and our hoping in his promises. Don't trust in yourself but trust in God! "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And he (Jesus) said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment." (Matthew 22:36-38)

"...I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."" Psalm 31:14

home isn't a physical structure

The phrase "Hospitality without the house" from a previous post keeps coming to my mind. I think it's because I am in my later twenties and don't have a house or a dwelling all my own. I figured that by this time I would have a house with a garage and a dishwasher. I thought I would be mowing the grass in the summer and raking leaves in the fall.

Maybe there is something to be said about not getting what you think you want, when you think you want it. Maybe if I had gotten all that I thought I wanted, I would have missed out on what I needed. Going back to school fills me with excited nausea. The nursing road is a long one and there are many different places it could take a person. I have a long way before I will be ready to apply for the RN nursing program itself, at least if I do it through the local community college; so much to think about and figure out. Trepidation fills me and if a nervous breakdown isn't to follow, I am going to have to learn to trust a higher power.

I was thinking yesterday about this guy that I really loved and would have done anything for. He never gave me the time of day really and it occurred to me that maybe God did that for a reason. Maybe I wouldn't have had gained courage if I had gotten what I thought I wanted. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to go back to school if I was in a serious relationship. Maybe I wouldn't be willing to try this new path if this particular person were more central in my life. It became apparent to me that maybe he really wasn't right for me and that, go figure, God knew it all along. It's hard sometimes when you think you know what you want, when you think you know what would be best for youself. Short sightedness is such a reality to we mortals; I hope it doesn't have to be.

With the crazy spring weather, in which it is 80 degrees one day and snowing the next, I watched a lot of Netflix over the weekend. I watched a Disney movie of all things (I am such a Pollyanna) and there was a moral in it that is so fitting for what I coming to discover. The moral went like this: It’s more important to have what you need than what you want. It really makes you think about separating and distinguishing between needs and wants. Relationships and laughter, someone to share moments with - these are the things that are truly needed on a human level. Savor people and relationships while you have them and don't take them not for granted. When you take the scale of needs versus wants to the spiritual level, your left with the reality that this Being called "God" trumps all finite worries.

Look at your life and see that it is filled with a lot of what you need.
Allow some of your wants to be swallowed up by what you already have.

the warning Bell

"This is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." 1 John 4:10

"And now I ask you, dear lady— not as though I were writing you a new commandment, but the one we have had from the beginning— that we love one another. And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it. For many deceivers have gone out into the world, those who do not confess the coming of Jesus Christ in the flesh. Such a one is the deceiver and the antichrist." 2 John 1:5-7

I have been thinking about God a lot this week, so much so that I realize how much I haven't been thinking about Him over the last many months. These last days I have been bringing my issues with God out onto the table instead of harboring them in darkness; issues like my deep mistrust of God and His love, my anger that Jesus had to die for me and my confusion about who is right when it comes to understanding God. Let me say that bringing these issues out was scary but ultimately I am finding that only through honesty and contemplation can anything really be dealt with.

The flip side to bringing out my issues with God is that God reminds me of his issues with me (and the rest of humanity). It is built into man to more readily take issue with God than to realize that it is really only he who has just cause to be at issue. The truth is, mankind isn't what he was created to be; the other truth is that it's not Gods fault.


Bell's version of love is ultimately toxic

Rob Bell has a new book coming out called "Love Wins." There was an article in TIME about it and the buzz has been all over the Internet. Evidently in the book, Bell claims that no one goes to hell; there is no hell. It's a pretty controversial things for pastor, teacher, shepherd of God's people, even just a proclaiming Christian to say. I haven't read the book and I really have no desire to expect that I know a lot of people my age are going to read it at face value, love it and believe it: that is what scares me.

Why do so many think that God allowing for a Hell is a bad thing for God to do? Can man (the created thing) call God (the Creator) unjust? I don't think so. The argument I have heard from some goes like this: "It would be unjust of God to punish man infinitely in hell for the things he did and believed in a finite lifetime." To that I say, "Well than I guess let hell stand to show you that mans life is not finite." What we believe here, right now, in this breath and the next one to come - really matters! How what we believe affects what we do, what we say, what we think - really matters! It matters! Instead of pointing us into an approved stupor of existentialism and nihilism shouldn't a brother in Christ be going in the other direction and point is into abounding hope and unspeakable joy that exists in Christ Jesus!?! Instead of plunging us into a fatalistic love affair with ourselves shouldn't a brother in Christ be plunging us into a love affair with "the glory of God in the face of Christ Jesus"!?! Instead of encouraging a man-centered gospel with a bent on loving man created art, man-centered labels and titles and pleasures shouldn't a brother in Christ be encouraging a primary love of God and furthering a passion to glorify God utmost in the things we mere men make and do!?! 

This is an official warning bell against Rob Bell with a call to get your face to the ground in prayer that God transforms his heart, mind and soul. And till that happens keeps his false doctrines from harming other people, believing and not.

Below is a link to a God-centered review of Rob Bell's book, "Love Wins":
God Is Still Holy and What You Learned in Sunday School Is Still True: A Review of “Love Wins”

unfathered bothered

I said to a fellow fatherless friend,

"It bothers me that she had baby.

(1) She's a Christian she has said.

(2) She's not married.

(3) She has had a baby.

It's like the puzzle worksheets from school:

Which one of these things doesn't belong?

I am not convicting her but I feel so convicted for her?

Does that make any sense?

Am I crazy to be bothered?"

"Everyone has faults, everyone has weaknesses."

"Its not an uncommon thing anymore."

"There is nothing that can be done."

"People have to do whats right for them."

"It's not our place to judge only love."

Now I am more bothered.

On behalf of fellow unfathered,

Especially the new and young, 

Too small to know how far they'll have yet to come.

Will doughnuts with dad be a thing of wonder?

Will last name differences be a weight to be under?

Forget what the unbelieving do, it is not a blunder;

They have no faith that is shown to be going asunder.

Pursuing passion in unholy ways;

Whatever reason for dark days.

A new life comes!!

May they be considered more than just another sum!

May the women not remain ho-hum!

May the world not remain numb!

Let all life come!

Ignoring the problem is just dumb!

Listen for the timing of God's drum!

Don't easily succumb! 

Thank God! that he takes the foolish things of the world and with them shames the wise. Thank God! that he uses all things in the end for the good of those who love him BUT do not make that an excuse to use other people as scratching posts for your physical pleasure. Make God's sovereignty not an excuse to be selfish. God's goodness is not a game for he will not fail to be good and do good BUT God has shown that creating life is no joking matter. As he is responsible for what he has made, so are we. Consider this well before diving down the rabbit hole of promiscuity, fornication and sexual immorality. I use harsh words for true realities.

Think of the child that could be created by your actions. Would the situation this new life is being created in be God honoring? Care for your unmade potential child more than you care for gratifying your lusts.

Examine your heart.
With creation comes responsibility.
There is a bond between intimacy and commitment.
Don't allow for just another statistic.

. (period - end of sentence]

Post started back in February 2011
Post finished on April 5, 2011

I make things too hard, too difficult. Take God for example. Sometimes I really think I am seeing clearly what He wants and then there are times when I haven't the slightest clue. I don't even know if it is possible to know what God wants and even if it is possible I have no idea how to communicate it without sounding like a George W Bush, Glen Beck looney. (Seriously, people who use the phrase "God told me..." are 99% of the time scary, whack jobs; I don't want to be a scary whack job.) This isn't so much because I fear what people think as I don't want to attribute to God something that in end had nothing to do with God; Manifest Destiny, the slaughter of the Native Americans, the instituting of a Pope, the deification of Mary, the creation of saints to pray to, the rise of antisemitism, the false rapture doctrine, the earthquake in Haiti, the breaking of the levees in New Orleans... these are just a few tragedies that certain "Christians" have attributed as to having "Gods blessing". God forbid I attribute my momentary thoughts, my fleeting words as Gods! What arrogance! What presumption!

I second guess that what I think is what I am supposed to think, that what I do is what I am supposed to do. I volley between feeling comfortable and confident to feeling unsure and afraid; I volley between trusting everything and doubting it all. I read something one day and feel like it is ultimate truth and then the next day it means so little to me. A great big truth shrinks down to a translucent vapor and Poof! it's gone. It's supposed to be all about faith, belief in Jesus Christ (John 6:29) but then the Bible also says in the book of James that , "faith without works is dead" so I jerk between legalism and conceited entitlement. Can one ever take God's love for granted? One can never earn God's love but is really good behavior required in order to keep His love? I feel like I am always going back to square one in the faith department. How much of what I believe is really true and how much does what I believe even matter in the grand scheme of things? At times I feel really lonely and insignificant; planet earth seems boundless and huge and I am so small, what does it matter ultimately what I think, feel or experience? All these question are probably giving you a headache, I know they give me one.

I sometimes think Paul would be disappointed in me, you know, Paul, the apostle. I wonder if he would have liked me. Would I have been someone he spoke well of or would it be the other way around, would I be someone he was disappointed in? Listen to what he says in 2 Timothy 4:10, "For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica." Ouch. Colossians 4:14 has Demas greeting others in the faith he evidently shares with them, so what happened? It really makes you wonder. Maybe Paul is writing about two different guys both named Demas but I don't think that's the case. It seems like Christians put Paul on a pedestal. "Oooo Paul!" Don't misunderstand, I like Paul too, I just don't want to deify him. Paul  was human was he not? He couldn't have always, always, always been right.

I guess what is eating at me lately is things like 1 Corinthians 14:34 for example. "Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says." When did Jesus ever tell a woman to be silent because she was a woman? Yeah...never. Jesus treated women in such a counter-cultural way, it's beautiful. I know, I know some will say I have to take the verse in its greater context and Paul didn't mean it the way it sounds and yada yada yada. Paul just really irks me sometimes, there I've said it. I want to follow Jesus not Paul and just because Paul wrote something doesn't mean one shouldn't test it in the Spirit just like one should test ALL teaching that comes their way. I write all this and then I go read Romans and I am silent to speak any kind of criticism of Paul. Darn it. I guess we mortals are all mixed bags of right and wrong when left to ourselves; we need God's Spirit guiding us always in truth, to truth. Further reading regarding Paul required.

With this post I am pausing to appreciate the finality of the grammatical period (.) A period represents the end of a sentence, the end of a statement. In life I want an ending that I can be sure of. I want to know that I know something and that what I know about it is never going to change and never become wrong. I want to know that I know I have faith and that I will go on having faith.

Everything changes; I need one thing that wont. Period.

"God is not man, that he should lie,
   or a son of man, that he should change his mind.
Has he said, and will he not do it?
   Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?"
- Numbers 23:19

volatile violet valentine

"You cannot save people, you can only love them." - The Diary Of Anais Nin, Volume Two (1934-1939)

I don't know the context from which the above quote was taken which makes it easy to attribute to it my own context. Yet maybe this is the type of quote that needs no context for the statement itself is its context. "You cannot save people, you can only love them." All alone the sentence implies so much; timely experience, wisdom gained from error, knowledge coming from pain, heartbreak perhaps, a resigning acceptance to an uncomfortable truth which once accepted bringing a type of peace, like a release from a weighing burden. All this I see in these nine words.

Is the statement true? Is saving people not something we're capable of? Doesn't loving someone imply by default a desire if not a willingness to save them? Can you really love someone and not desire to save them; save them from danger, save them from hurt, save them from regret, even at times save them from themselves? Are desires for saving necessary even if ultimate saving itself isn't up to us? The questions could go on and on with many answers or with none.

Upon thought it occurred to me that the word save can have two meanings: save as in rescue or save as in store up. It gives new meaning to the first half of the sentence, "You cannot save people"; you cannot store up people, hold people in reserve for personal use, no matter what the reason. Unlike an organism suspended in formaldehyde for preservation, people aren't meant to be stored/saved up. Unlike a shirt or a pen bought at a half price sale, people aren't meant to be reduced and bargained. People are meant to be actively, presently, continually loved; love existing in past memory but not current reality is an impossibility perhaps. Maybe that is the meaning...I don't know.

The statement "You cannot save people, you can only love them" takes on new meaning when applied to Christ; for loving is all tied into the saving. In the end I hold that though I myself can save no one, I can help them; because I love them I can help them and anything less is not love it's hypocrisy. Help them eternally and presently, spiritually and physically, individually and relationally. Without care, concern, and active affection, theere is no love.

Where red meets blue there's violet; where love meets care there's Christ. Can you see that? God tell me you see it.

MINE rap

Mine & self

I see something in “mine”

Not at all am I fine

Self has been stealth

Counting on its own wealth

I can deflect, minimize

Just guilt, de-legitimized

An all-encompassing gloom

From which there in no room  

Yet there is a Light so bright

Self receives it like a bite

He's preexisting, no use resisting

Won’t be able to survive

Don’t see it - won’t become alive

Love of a new toy

Love of an old boy 

Pride in my selections

Pride in my reflections

It's all one big misapprehension

Self’s met its doom

It’s finding there’s no room

The Light grows bright

An end to this long selfish night

what influence are you under

I don't want my senator quoting the bible from the political stage; it is manipulative to those who are Christians and alienating to those who are not. I want bible quoting from my preacher/teacher/minister but not my senator or other political representative. I want biblical interpretation that is historical and contextual not coercive or situational. I hold that a senator can be a Christian but he can't be a Christian senator. Would I want a Muslim senator or a senator that happens to be Muslim? I like the latter better. When the church is connected directly to the state it is the church that gets harmed. When the state is connected directly to the church it is the church that gets harmed; it's lose-lose for the church when it comes to union with the state. Political power isn't the churches goal; we don't rely on political power but God's power.

What is this great fear Christians have with the statement: "America is not a Christian nation but a nation of Christians"? Why does that stir up such a passionate tumultuous response? Is America our heavenly home? Does our American citizenship precede our heavenly one? No - then why such a need to label it "Christian"? I can call goat a chicken all day but it’s never going to lay an egg. (That is a really country kinda reference and I'm really sorry.) Look at America, I mean really look at it, from coast to coast, household to household, TV to internet - then go read the Gospels and the New Testament. Are the commandments of Jesus followed, upheld, loved and treasured? Do people believe in His actual existence and completed work? Do we see the sacrificing servant attitude of Christ in American action and rhetoric? I think the answer is you see it either not at all or with great compromise. Where the Christian message is compromised it is diminished; you can't hide a light under a bucket and expect it to illuminate the room. (Luke 8:16) Christians can't negotiate the principles of their faith; the commandments to follow aren't selective or individually interpretive. Politics however is all about negotiation, interpretation and compromise; the agenda is man centered not God centered.

What is hard to accept about God is also what I most respect about him; he lets mankind go its own way even when it's the wrong way. (Mark 10:22-23, Matthew 23:37) Is forced morality what God wants? We Christians are so preoccupied with the tepid and cold temperature of the world’s morality we aren't focused on the temperature of our own devotion to God. I am not saying we should let the lost sheep (the unbelieving world) drown because they willfully went into the gleaming river with the deadly undertow; No, we should as Christians seek to be true salt, preserving and enhancing, speaking the truth and acting in love being aware we too were once drowning in that same river. What I am saying is we can't let people think they are "Christians" because they live under the false prescribed banner "Christian nation" just as a child of Abraham is not one born of genealogy but born spiritually by God. (Luke 3:8) It is not the governments job to create or adhere people to faith in Jesus Christ nor should it be. A religious litmus test contradicts the whole freedom founding principles of America thing, ya know what I mean.

In conclusion, it is because I love America and think it is the best government established by flawed mankind that I write all the above. I wouldn't want to be a citizen of any other country but of course I have never lived anywhere else either so my opinion is rather sheltered. May our allegiance be ever to God more than it is to country; may we to the glory of God seek the spiritual salvation of our fellow man in countries everywhere and anywhere through the Spirit's means not political means. What are your thoughts?

with everlasting love do i love you

My Gammy and me have a tradition; each Sunday we DVR CBS Sunday Morning and watch it sometime later in the week. The stories are interesting, artsy and sometimes funny. It is one of my favorite shows. We watched last Sunday’s episode last night and there is a story from it that hasn’t gone out of my mind since. The link to the story is at the bottom of this post. The story was about Barry Petersen, a reporter from CBS and his journey with his wife of 25 years, Jan, who has early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. It was truly a heart wrenching story; the real pain so overt that a bystander could be affected by it.

Through this article I am not attempting to argue with his own interpretation of his experience; I can’t begin to understand the great depths of pain, loss and anger he goes through daily. There is however a few things he said in the story that trouble me. He says, “Jan loved me without measure. She was all I wanted in this life. It was a love affair that had a beginning but was never supposed to end. That is what this horror of a disease stole and destroyed.” He says that because of Alzheimer’s their love affair has been “stolen and destroyed”; I humbly beg to disagree. It is obvious that though Jan doesn’t remember who Barry is even as he sits next to her, Barry remembers Jan. That is what commitment is, that is what covenant is, that is the binding of marriage; like in C.S Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia it's the oldest magic existing before time and outside it, created not by man but by the Creator of man. I hold that as long as Barry remembers Jan their love is not over, it is not stolen and it is not destroyed. And even if Barry himself in time succumbs to forgetting, there is One who’s memory is outside of time. Faithfulness of one party transcends the faithlessness of the other; unlike the story of Hosea from the Bible where the unfaithfulness of one party is by headstrong choice, in the case of Jan her own body is being unfaithful to her with an illness she can’t help.

There is no mention of faith or God in the reporting of this story as is primarily the case with most stories on TV, in the paper, or online. The absence of God or faith mentioned cannot lead us to assume they don’t exist for Barry Petersen but the absence of their mention can lead us to fear they aren’t present and to pray that if that be the case for God to remedy it quickly and mightily. This may be perhaps wishful thinking on my part for faith not mentioned can’t really be faith can it? If one doesn’t testify/speak to their faith can it be existing, alive and real?

I can’t imagine going through life without faith in God. It would exponentially increase pain to know that grievances suffered and losses experienced were without any greater purpose. As Job who lost everything in one day - his children, his livelihood, his health - in my moments of deepest despair I can only do in my soul what he is described as doing in Job 1:20-21, “Job tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, "Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." He praised God through his tears, through his loss, through his pain. Job teaches and shows us like so many fellow saints of faith that in our deepest griefs and most painful losses we should turn to God not away. This is also true in our greatest joys, pleasures and triumphs; we should not look to these as being due to us or replacing God for us but as things given to us from God who is good, gracious beyond understanding and patient beyond measure. All good gifts come from God who is good and if we for a time see them not, we blame him not. When faced with loss or lack, we rejoice over having been blessed to have had such goodness in our lives at all and we have faith we will see that said goodness again.

Barry Petersen I humbly say love is never wasted, love can never be destroyed. Disease and death may stop its visible breath but love remains long after we do. 

“For great is his steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the LORD endures forever. Praise the LORD!” Psalm 117:2

Link to CBS News, Jan’s story:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/06/20/sunday/main6600364.shtml