adversity&discontent: the soil of creativity?

Recently a friend has made me think about the junction between artistry and survival. I once thought that it would be amazing to make my living from creative writing. To be able to leisure about and just write whenever I wanted to about anything I wanted to sounded exciting, but I wonder now if the actuality would really be as grand as I imagined. If someone paid me to write and do nothing else, would the writing I produce be any good?

I have a theory about my creative process. I think that it is the struggles, setbacks, and simplicities of everyday life that are the soil of my writing. If I have nothing to persevere against-be it a job or a boss, a limited budget or a deadline-I notice my writing juices wane. I think I write out of a place of discontent, not malicious discontent or severe discontent but creative discontent. When I spend any part of my day writing it has to be meaningful because there isn't time for frivolous fluff in a day so full of demands. Demands are placed upon all of us by work, family, friends; these aren't necessarily bad demands but they make life crowded and time for self pursuits precious. I can't help but to write and wonder and ponder and write again. Over-thinking about writing sucks the joy right out of it for me.

I think I need obstacles to make writing worth doing. It is funny to see that typed out in black and white for all my life I have been an advocate against obstacles, but now I see that discontenting obstacles mold us in ways "contentment" never could. I have pondered over the many obstacles in my life and prayed over and over that they would just go away. One of the obstacles in my life has been my job. The work isn't bad but the atmosphere and corporate b***s*** is soul sucking and mind numbing. Yet it has been here, at my soul sucking, mind numbing job that I have found my passion for writing. Funny huh? Obstacles give us something to overcome and that can be a source of self-inspiration.

Writing is a way for me to work out and work through a problem and a way to process ideas. The funny thing about me is I do a majority of my writing while I am at work. While I am at work getting through my day by running on autopilot, an idea will come to mind, a play on a word or turning of a phrase. I will quickly pull up a blank email and type the idea out. If I am having a day that isn't very busy, I will work on the idea a little bit but knowing that any second the jingle could sound saying I have an email to answer or the phone at my desk could ring, presents a challenge and a sort of danger that fuels my creativity. I guess I thrive on fitting my creativity into a day that isn't meant to be creative. I don't know if that is a sophomoric rebellion streak that I need to overcome or if its been a survival tool in a corporate atmosphere that is stifling. I don't feel bad about writing while I am at work. After being there 10 years it is obvious that I get my work done and get it done well.

I think I write the most and the best when writing is not the central focus. If I set out with the thought in my head, "I am going to write today" the words come haltingly if at all. But if I am passionate about something, if I feel stirred or moved by the occurrences of life, I can't help but write pages and pages. I think my writing is its most real when I am not trying to be real. Does that make any sense? Give me unlimited writing time and the blinking cursor becomes my enemy. Minutes seem like hours as I stare at the blank page. But let me live, struggle, persevere and further my resilience - I could write all day. Take the "negative" in your life and turn it upside down. What does adversity and discontent really do to you? What is the source and fuel of our creativity?