solo yolo ugh

bait and switch: (noun) the ploy of offering a person something desirable to gain favor (as political support) then thwarting expectations with something less desirable

leverage: (noun) influence or power used to achieve a desired result

tempt: (verb) to entice to do wrong by promise of pleasure or gain


I just started doing The Message Solo Devotional. I am not going to necessarily focus on getting through one every day. If I feel like I need to linger on one devotional for a few days, even a week, I will. I don't want to be legalistic about this, I want to be genuine. I need to cultivate some authentic change and growth in my life, and I can't do that by following some A-B-C formula.

The first day begins with Genesis Chapter 3, the entry title "Desire for Reconciliation." I have been hung up on this entry since Monday night. For the THINK portion of the entry, it asks the question "How does this passage speak to your situation?" I couldn't answer and that really bothered me.

There are all the patent things one could say about Genesis 3. It's about disobedience, idolatry, deception, vanity, disbelief - all of which his true. But I became more interested in why the woman choose as she did. What was she thinking? What should she have done differently? Why was she so seemingly easily swayed? What lived inside her heart and mind that made the ground fertile for deception to flower? Did she resent being created second? Was all this mere suggestion on the serpents part that led her to down this road or was he merely picking up on something that was already present within her? Could the man who was with her have said something (done anything!) to guide or reassure her? Why didn't he?

I think the serpent choose to approach the woman on purpose. She's second and he goes to her first. The text doesn't say if the woman and man discussed the matter, debated the issue, listed out the pros and cons - I have a feeling they didn't. I think it was very much done in the moment, without much thinking or discussion.

The question of "How does this passage speak to your situation?" bugged me because I didn't want to see my connection to the serpent. The truth is, I've played the tempter - temptress. There are times when there is an under layer that seeks to manipulate even ever so slightly another person in the hopes of getting what I WANT or think I want.

I also didn't want to face what tempts me, more specifically what temptations I've given in to.

Instead of focusing only on the woman and man, the serpent deserves a little attention. The serpent isn't in this because he cares about the couple, nay, he hates them, he wants to see them fall. He wants the relationship between them and God to crash and burn. Not only will giving into this temptation hurt the couple, it will hurt God who made them. Their failure is God's failure for he believes God can't remedy that big an error.

"When I am tempted there is always more at stake then I realize. Temptation seeks to get us off our path and purpose. When we're tempted we think only of the thing in play - should I have this donut or look at that provocative picture - we are thinking only of the now, but there is always more at stake. There's more at stake than just that one thing.

Temptation seeks to have us meet a legitimate need, in an illegitimate way. Food, sex, respect... a voice inside says "You need it!" Maturity however is the ability to delay gratification (aka the ability to wait). Baby's can't wait; grownups can. The root of all temptation is worshiping something other than God."

dealing with NO

James 5:12 "...let your “Yes” be “Yes,” and your “No,” “No,” lest you fall into judgment (hypocrisy)."

 

Hypocrisy: the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform

 

 



No is a painful thing to hear and even more to accept. "No, I didn't like the food you made." "No, I don't think that outfit is flattering." "No, I don't want to be with you."

 

No. It's a brutal word with enormous impact.

 

Yet no is sometimes the answer to life's opportunities, chances, and desires.

 

I hate no. I didn't get where I am now by accepting "no" as an answer. I had to overcome no, the no in my mind that said I would never make it, the no that said I would never amount to anything. I have do that sometimes daily, defeat the no that says the test is too hard or the skill too complex. This aversion I have to no in some areas of my life, blinds me to the goodness of no in other areas. I just don't handle no well. No sometimes seems to me like giving up, accepting defeat somehow. 

 

REALITY CHECK: We can't change the  no of other people; accepting the no of others frees us to accepting the good yes of other and better things.

 

When we struggle with a decision that involves and impacts someone else, it's not fair to tarry and volley with choosing. I wonder how often the questions we struggle with in life are us choosing to see gray when there is really only black and white...

 

I am dealing with indecision and apathy. When someone says they are leaving a decision up to you and paints you a picture that is too many conflicting things all at the same time, it's very hard to know what to do, what to feel, how to go on. Figuratively, it's a precipice of torture. 

 

I feel like my whole life is on hold because other people won't let their no be no and yes be yes. And I am also really mad at myself. I feel like a more confident, secure person wouldn't wait for someone else to make up their mind. (All of which could just me be, being too hard on myself, which happens.) Maybe this too is part of growing up, seeing that life isn't simple, easy, uncomplicated. Relationships, being involved with other people, makes life messy. Maybe I just need to learn to deal with the mess...

 

We need to make a decision here. Are we invested? Do we want the same things? I need to know: are you in or out? Before I was afraid to ask the question because if the answer was no, I felt it would be too crushing, but now I just need to know one way or the other. And you're right it's not a simple easy thing, there is pressure involved. I'm sorry about that but I can't change it, not without compromising the whole meaning and significance behind it all. Some compromises aren't all right. I would point out gently the pressures behind the idea of "us" isn't all one sided. I come with my set of dilemmas absolutely but so do you. There are high stakes and a lot of unknowns for both of us. It's a risk. I get that. A lot to figure out. A lot to get to know better. A lot to have to deal with. It's a lot all the way around. But no relationship is totally simple, completely easy, pleasingly perfect, and always non challenging. So again I say, are you in or out? And if you're not sure, be courageous and say no. This no to us doesn't have to be forever. Maybe we have individual issues we need to workout alone before we can be together. Or maybe no will mean no for always. (A depressing thought I'm not going to lie.)

 

I just need to know if it's no... ya know? xo