could/should/do

"...I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me..."
-lyric from song Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac
 

"You're holding on to a life that doesn't want you anymore. It doesn't want you."
-the movie Ghost

You know what I've come to realize? I'm stubborn...and I fear it's in all the wrong ways.

Why is the heart drawn to what it's drawn to? Why do some people occupy a place in our souls with minimal effort? Why is there a lack of connection to those who want desperately to be part of us and a pull towards those who don't want anything to do with us? I wonder sometimes if the feelings that develop do so more from pride and stubbornness than purity and honesty. We can become so fixated on feelings that we become blind to reality that exists beyond them. When is patience the right thing, and when is it just stalling?

I wonder how love works for Jesus. He knows already who will ultimately be saved and who will ultimately perish. Does His supreme knowing effect the pull He feels towards every beating heart?

I think God allows us to feel unreciprocated love to give us a window into how He feels. It's painful to love another from a place of purity when you know that love will not be returned. Lack of reciprocation, however, doesn't make the love go away. There's this perception that God doesn't love those He doesn't save and I just don't buy it. He's always loved all He's made and He's always loved his people; it's just His love didn't keep them from harm, His love sadly didn't stop them from doing whatever the hell they wanted. Love doesn't force, that's not loves power. What's powerful about God's love (and all real love) is it exists even when it's not returned, it can survive even when it has every logical reason to die.

Making peace with love: I will NEVER stop wanting the best for you. I with tears accept, if I must, that I may never be with you, but I will never stop desiring only the best things for you. ox