snow in my coat pocket

The holidays seem a time for falling together and coming apart. With the feelings of nostalgia that Christmastime brings in its smells, songs, and snowy disposition - we look forward to reconnecting with family and friends with whom it feels we haven’t really seen since a year ago. I said the holidays are a time for falling together and coming apart because it seems we connect just long enough to say, “Goodbye! See you next year.” The days we have so long looked forward to pass over us like a dream, and we awaken disoriented and disappointed. Maybe I am channeling the forlorn spirit of Charlie Brown, but I find it difficult to pinpoint the meaning and purpose of this time of year. Whether it’s Justin Bieber belting out “Santa Clause is Coming to Town” while twerking or network TV editing It’s a Wonderful Life so it includes commercials about erectile dysfunction and vaginal itch, the“reason for the season” is hidden away.

I go through the motions. I climb great heights to suspend bright lights that illuminate the outdoors. I painstakingly place the plastic ornaments on the plastic Christmas tree in such a way that they appear perfectly displayed and evenly spaced. I make cookies, breads, rum balls, and cheese dips all to delight the taste buds of people near and far. I wear sparkly, glittering, gaudy paraphernalia, covering myself from head to toe till I twinkle like an odd, generic she-elf. I struggle and agonize over finding the perfect gifts that looks like I found them somehow effortlessly yet thoughtfully. And through it all, the reason for all this becomes more hidden from me.

“Can anyone tell me what Christmas is all about?!?” Charlie Brown exclaims during the classic TV special. Oh how we all need a friend like Linus to keep us grounded when we get carried away or left behind, however one wants to see it.

I love when great meaning and purpose is hidden in the simple and unplanned; it’s the magic of the ordinary becoming extraordinary that thrills me, reminds me, and revives me. Clearing a week’s worth of snow off the car and discovering an hour later that some has found its way into my coat pocket and is still unmelted - cold, white, and real. Driving 60 miles down a scenic highway only to look up and see an eagle turn its head at just the right moment as if to let me know just what it was. Feeling hope in the middle of winter as it gives a taste of spring in a single day of warmth, where mittens aren’t needed.

This isn’t a stretch; I don’t feel I am making more of things than I should. I feel at one with all that is greater than myself and privileged to recognize these “simple” things as the gifts they are. Better than anything that can be bought in a store or sold on a site are wonders not made by man but ordained by Something from above. Somehow snow unmelted can melt an icy heart.  xo