under the tie-dye sky

Doubt. It's funny or I should say interesting what I choose to doubt and what I have no doubt about. Being in college, nursing school, meeting so many different people in a variety of situations, settings, and circumstances, as well as having been plunged into a new job atmosphere after a decade of being stuck behind a very stifling one, I see every day how wrong I was, how little I knew, and how uncertainty is necessary, even good.

In the classic movie, The Philadelphia Story, with Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn there is a great line. Two characters are in the middle of conversation and the topic turns to the subject of snobbery. One character says, "The time to make up your mind about people, is never." As I get older, that's what I'm coming to see. People aren't all one thing and they can't be defined simply with the use of three adjectives or less. We aren't Match.com and eHarmony advertisements.

"The time to make up your mind about people, is never."

Doubt. I doubt the words of leaders, finally I'm unconvinced of their intent. I doubt history for it contains recognizable slant and blinding bias. I doubt the reviews of film critics and the predictions of the weathermen. I doubt at my core that my journey called the human experience is worth it. I doubt; some are big and some are small, some inconsequential and some significant. But with doubt comes wisdom. Doubt reminds me that I don't know everything, that I can't always be right and that I'm often wrong. Doubt in it's uncertainty, allows me the chance to look at things from another's point-of-view. Doubt can at times be a vital force that keeps me from harm and certain injury.

What don't I doubt? I don't doubt that Christ is real, for who would makeup such a character and how. I don't doubt the old saying, "Only two things are certain: death and taxes." I don't doubt that today I lived under the tie-dye sky and it's possible I will tomorrow too. I don't doubt in any sense or dimension that I adore you more than anything on this planet real or imagined, past or present.

I doubt and I don't; it's not simple and rarely easy, but in this moment as the colors of twilight mix and meld, my mind's made up: I'm thankful and glad to be alive. xo