virtual rule #4

Virtual Rule #4: Your Undivided Attention

"To listen attentively when one is spoken to, is merely one of the rules of etiquette." - Emily Post

It is the bane of the one who would like to converse with you and those that attend the movies with you - it is of course your dreaded cell phone. Yes, the time has come to address the technology addiction we all have. It is only appropriate that your undivided attention be given to the person you are with and on the primary task at hand. No cell phones during surgery surgeons; no Facebook time during the game quarterback. Put the cell phone away and do not look at it while in the middle of conversing with someone else; it is rude. Put the cell phone away and do not look at it while at the movies or the theater; it is rude. Nothing could be so important on Twitter, Facebook or whatever that it cannot wait a couple hours. Seriously.

There may be occasions where we are expecting a phone call, this is fine as long as we respectfully let our coffee companion know this is the case. The cell phones presence at the table may also be excused if you have a pregnant wife or a traveling elderly parent flying in from Saskatchewan. These situations do not however give license to other smart phone activities like checking your email, updating your status or whatever else there may be; none of these things are appropriate while in the accompaniment of another. May our virtual communication seek to only further our real time communication not hinder it. May we care less about virtual happenings and more about the life occurring in our very presence.

"Remember also that the sympathetic not apathetic listener is the delight of delights. The person who looks glad to see you, who is seemingly eager for your news or enthralled with your conversation; who looks at you with a kindling of the face, and gives you spontaneous and undivided attention, is the one to whom laurel wreath for the art of conversation would undoubtedly be awarded." (page 57, Etiquette in society, in business, in politics and at home, Emily Post)