Is confrontation easy for anyone?
It's not easy most of the time to tell people how you really feel, I think a lot of people feel that way. There is risk to vulnerability. There is risk to telling some people things they won't like or won't agree with. We know there is risk usually because of the way they have behaved and reacted in that past to honesty, criticism, or dissent. Maybe they have responded with a cold shoulder or silence, or with dramatic blaming of everything else for everything that's happened, or blowing up in anger and hostility. Whatever the reaction is, it clearly expressed how unsafe it is to be authentic with this person.
Safety is everything when it comes to honesty. Rational people don't share feelings/emotions/thoughts with someone else when it's not safe to do so. I'm sure we have all found ourselves in unsafe places at some point in our lives. Sadly, I am sure we have all been unsafe places for others at one time or another.
When you don't feel safe, you don't open up, you clam up. You aren't free to be honest about what you think, what you feel, or who you are which renders one to have feelings of insignificance and despair. The universe becomes more isolating in its vastness when one doesn't have any safe place. Sometimes one safe place - just one - makes all the difference to the soul.
Here is what I have learned. Not everyone is safe to share with. When it comes to expressing who you are and what you believe and all the contradictions inbetween, there is only a select few for whom that can be shared with. Nothing you do can make it safe when it isn't. I think all one can to is offer honesty but the rejection or acceptance of that honesty must be observed and accepted. Recognized not with hostility or bitterness but with wisdom and dependence on God's grace.
The expression of one's personal self to another who is safe is important and necessary. But what about expressing God's biblical truth to others? What about confronting other's about that? In the post-modern world where truth has never been treated more as relative, how do Christian live as Christians?
I hear a lot "I feel that God wouldn't be upset about..." or "It doesn't feel wrong to my conscience therefore it isn't wrong for me..." or "That's an old-fashioned (aka misogynistic, patriarchal, judgmental, hypocritical, unscientific, closed-minded, etc.) way of thinking."
We all have the same problem. Jeremiah 17:9 “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?" Isaiah 53:6 "All of we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way." All people have that problem. All believers had that problem. But when one accepts Christ as their savior, redeemer, and living water and bread of life - they stop thinking about things apart from God's word. "Me" is removed from the equation because trust and faith in God is the only thing that matters.
John the Baptist
In Matthew 11:11 Jesus says that about John the Baptist... "Truly, I say to you, among those born of women there has arisen no one greater than John the Baptist. Yet the one who is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he."
For it was Herod who had sent and seized John and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife, because he had married her. 18 For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife.” 19 And Herodias had a grudge against him and wanted to put him to death. But she could not, 20 for Herod feared John, knowing that he was a righteous and holy man, and he kept him safe. When he heard him, he was greatly perplexed, and yet he heard him gladly. (Mark 6:17-20) 21 But an opportunity came when Herod on his birthday gave a banquet for his nobles and military commanders and the leading men of Galilee. 22 For when Herodias's daughter came in and danced, she pleased Herod and his guests. And the king said to the girl, “Ask me for whatever you wish, and I will give it to you.” 23 And he vowed to her, “Whatever you ask me, I will give you, up to half of my kingdom.” 24 And she went out and said to her mother, “For what should I ask?” And she said, “The head of John the Baptist.” 25 And she came in immediately with haste to the king and asked, saying, “I want you to give me at once the head of John the Baptist on a platter.” 26 And the king was exceedingly sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests he did not want to break his word to her. 27 And immediately the king sent an executioner with orders to bring John's[e] head. He went and beheaded him in the prison 28 and brought his head on a platter and gave it to the girl, and the girl gave it to her mother. (Mark 6:21-27)
What can one say about this? John spoke with truth boldly. But that did not allow his life to be spared or easier or better. Jesus didn't save him though he thought very greatly of him. Would it have been better for John to stay silent about this? Was John hasty in confronting others with the truth?
"I don't want to upset anyone." "I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings." "I don't want to ruin their "happiness" by telling them what their doing isn't right in the eyes of God." "I am not perfect myself regarding sin; how can I tell another person something they are doing is wrong?"
Tell me: If we can agree it's important to share your truth with others in name of honesty and authenticity; isn't just as crucial to your identity as a Christain to in love and humility speak God's truth to those who are in peril not obeying it and falling into unbelief? What is truly a kind act to a dying main, not hurting their feelings, or trying to save their life? What would you really prefer?
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