the trusting

God isn't counting on you. God doesn't have all his hopes wrapped up in you. God's sovereignty will not be upended because you mess up, screwed up, failed or fall short. God is big, really really big; way bigger than our individual failings and way bigger than our corporate "successes". Please stop carrying the burden of the misconception that God is "counting on us" because it's toxic. We aren't meant to be the Trustee (the one who manages the big picture and controls ultimate endings); we are meant to be the trusting. Whatever we do, we should do out of trust in God and faith in His Son. We should never act from the belief that God is trusting in us and needs our "gifts". Instead we should be humbled that God is able to make anything good from us, truly! glory be to God! "For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)

When we fall short, when we are acutely aware of our sinfulness before a holy God, when we are perceiving the awe, splendor and majesty of God revealed to us through Jesus Christ - it will shrink us into silent reverence and worship, a fear drawing us closer to God not further away. When our gifts fall short, when we who are good at speaking can't project our voice, when we who write can't find the right words, when we who lead take a stumble - we need to know that God isn't diminished. Our seeming failures and many weakness aren't to be equated with God failing or being weak. Don't trust in yourself but trust in God!

This is not to say that God doesn't have expectations for us. There are ways he wants us to behave and things expects us to do but our obedience must flow out of our faith in Him and our hoping in his promises. Don't trust in yourself but trust in God! "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And he (Jesus) said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment." (Matthew 22:36-38)

"...I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God."" Psalm 31:14