home isn't a physical structure

The phrase "Hospitality without the house" from a previous post keeps coming to my mind. I think it's because I am in my later twenties and don't have a house or a dwelling all my own. I figured that by this time I would have a house with a garage and a dishwasher. I thought I would be mowing the grass in the summer and raking leaves in the fall.

Maybe there is something to be said about not getting what you think you want, when you think you want it. Maybe if I had gotten all that I thought I wanted, I would have missed out on what I needed. Going back to school fills me with excited nausea. The nursing road is a long one and there are many different places it could take a person. I have a long way before I will be ready to apply for the RN nursing program itself, at least if I do it through the local community college; so much to think about and figure out. Trepidation fills me and if a nervous breakdown isn't to follow, I am going to have to learn to trust a higher power.

I was thinking yesterday about this guy that I really loved and would have done anything for. He never gave me the time of day really and it occurred to me that maybe God did that for a reason. Maybe I wouldn't have had gained courage if I had gotten what I thought I wanted. Maybe I wouldn't have been able to go back to school if I was in a serious relationship. Maybe I wouldn't be willing to try this new path if this particular person were more central in my life. It became apparent to me that maybe he really wasn't right for me and that, go figure, God knew it all along. It's hard sometimes when you think you know what you want, when you think you know what would be best for youself. Short sightedness is such a reality to we mortals; I hope it doesn't have to be.

With the crazy spring weather, in which it is 80 degrees one day and snowing the next, I watched a lot of Netflix over the weekend. I watched a Disney movie of all things (I am such a Pollyanna) and there was a moral in it that is so fitting for what I coming to discover. The moral went like this: It’s more important to have what you need than what you want. It really makes you think about separating and distinguishing between needs and wants. Relationships and laughter, someone to share moments with - these are the things that are truly needed on a human level. Savor people and relationships while you have them and don't take them not for granted. When you take the scale of needs versus wants to the spiritual level, your left with the reality that this Being called "God" trumps all finite worries.

Look at your life and see that it is filled with a lot of what you need.
Allow some of your wants to be swallowed up by what you already have.