it was the time we shared together

The big game is over. The Packers have won. Aaron Rodgers and team are triumphant champions. The crowds will go home. The jumbo-trons will be turned off. The locker room will clear out. The trophy will go in a glass case.

This game means nothing to me but this time means everything. This time I spent with my mom, with my Grandma - it wasn't hyped but it was the only thing of worth. Cheering out loud, at the same moments sighing in frustration, rising to our feet in exhilarating glee - this we did together, that is why it mattered.

Thank you Super Bowl Sunday. xox

a fixed target: finding the center

Target the store has an ad catchphrase they have been using for a while now, "Life's a Moving Target." I grant you that Target's commercials are not as annoying as some and I concede that Target is a very clean and organized store versus its competitors, however, that doesn't make me like its slogan. It's my "Christian self" that takes the most disliking to the phrase. I do that a lot with media and entertainment, which makes it a nightmare for girlfriends who want to go see silly, promiscuous, "romantic comedy" chick-flicks. I always notice the unlikelihood, superficiality, and flawed mindsets of the characters in the film. Do I sound like a fun movie companion or what? This is not to say I dismiss every romantic comedy ever made; I like "Sleepless in Seattle", I find "When Harry Met Sally" to be a classic, I think "Win A Date With Tad Hamilton" is an adorable film. I however loathe "Knocked Up", "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" and "There's Something About Mary" which I have never been able to sit through all the way. Nothing is more irksome to me than wasting $10 bucks and two hours of my life on cinematic garbage.

Who moved the bullseye?

Anyway back to my issue with the slogan, "Life's A Moving Target." It's the impermanence the phrase suggests that bothers me the most. It suggests that life is always just out of reach, the goal of it ever changing and moving. I hate that idea; it sounds exhausting to me. Shopping may be a moving target, "Today I need toilet paper tomorrow a frying pan" but life's not. The center of our life shouldn't shift depending on what material goods we need to buy though that certainly sounds like something stores and advertisers would want us to believe.

Here is another slogan, "Our mission is to courageously lead people toward full devotion to Jesus Christ." This could totally be me being facetious but I don't like that slogan very much either. For now I will leave alone the possible self-aggrandizing involved with the words "Our" and "courageously." The word toward is what really sticks out most in my mind; Toward: "moving in the direction of (but not necessarily arriving at); in relation to (someone or something); for the purpose of attaining (an aim); located close to." (exact definition found on Wiktionary) 

I don't want to be in the vicinity of Jesus - I want to be with Jesus. I don't want to wander close to Him only to find in the end I didn't know Him. Becoming devoted to Him is not my aim, I am devoted to Him (all glory be to God!). The question now is "What do I do with my already existing devotion to Him?" or to phrase it a different way, "What does my existing devotion to Jesus look like lived?" Leading others perpetually towards devotion to Christ is not my aim either. I am just not sure you should want to lead someone toward being devoted to Jesus Christ; either they are going to be devoted or they aren't. This is a frighting sobering reality. The biggest question every man and woman will face is: Do I accept Jesus Christ literally as my Lord and Savior? It is a question every human being needs to wrestle with and resolve upon a concluding answer. Faith and its opposite unbelief are the two things all actions spring from. Transformation comes not so much out of what we do but what we believe. If you were an abolitionist who was unsure that slavery was really wrong, your resolve to see slavery's end, wouldn't be very strong. If you aren't actively/currently/already devoted to Christ than your resolve in living for Christ won't be very firm (too well do I personally know this is true!). How can you live out the principles of someone you don't currently trust? How can you hope in promises you don't really think are true?

Encouraging adherence to the moral, practical teachings of Christ is pointless unless the more difficult life-altering, supernatural Spiritual teachings are taught as well. He talks about needing not just a new way of behaving but a completely new birth / new being. He is a radical in speech and deed. NO ONE is like Jesus Christ in identity, claim, teaching and existence. Like C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity, "I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: “I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to be God.” That is the one thing we must not say. A man who said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to."

When someone resolves something they resolve it; when you make your mind up, you make your mind up. I can't put a chicken in the oven and when the timer dings expect beef wellington to come out just as I can't plant carrots seeds and expect tomatoes to grow. The joy of making a decision is that now a conclusion has been reached; even if it is a hard choice at least there is peace knowing a choice has been made. Lukewarm, fence sitting really isn't an option when it comes to being a follower of Christ, again this is a sobering, humbling thing. If you leave open the option to change your mind, abstain from deciding until you have more evidence or believe only up to certain limits than you aren't resolved, your roots aren't fixed, your confidence is shaky. How are you going to live and die for something you don't believe in? The following is an example that came to mind. When you want to breakup with someone you shouldn't work towards breaking up with them, you should breakup with them.

Resolution to the question of "Who is Christ and what does that mean to me?" needs to come and it can't come unless The Gospel is heard and The Gospel can't be heard unless it is preached thus I admire and approve of the heart seeking out the non-devoted, unbelieving; that is a good and loving thing to want, necessary and vital are evangelism and missionary work. I guess what I am saying is I want the center target of Jesus Christ to be fixed, clear and ultimately obtained by those who are His children. I want the heart quickened to faith in Jesus Christ to be a confident heart in Jesus Christ; confident not because they have paid their $19.99 for spiritual assessment or because they have attended the most recent teaching series but because they know that they know Jesus Christ, ya know?

May the words of Peter be our own:

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:3-9

todays post yesterday

Pigeon with Green Peas - Pablo Picasso

You know what I have come to love about blogging? It's the edit button. I hate finding mistakes in my writing but I love that I can fix them. The whole world is a freaking mess-grammatically and otherwise-but I have it in my power to fix these errors right hear, I mean here. I suppose you could chalk it all up to my having a perfectionist streak; this streak is a double edged sword. There is nothing wrong with wanting to put out the best material you can but when perfectionism comes into play, the wellspring of creativity dries up pretty quickly. Another thing I love about blogging, is that it affords me control over time. I can create something today and give it a date of the past. This is a role we really get no where else for our real lives don't allow such time revisions. Where we were, we were, and what happened to us at a specific point in time happened at that specific point in time, but here on Blogger I can say I thought of all this and finished writing about it before the stroke of midnight. Time is mine to manipulate and falsify.

Composition IV - Wassily Kandinsky

I am intimidated by "The Greats"-the great writers, painters, composers, and sculptors-all the artists who have gone before and that exist around me. They have contributed so much to the story of humanity. What they chiseled in words and marble, what they painted in watercolor and the musical notes the record outlived them and will outlive all of us. I remember going to the art museum and after a couple hours of seeing great works of art, it all started blurring together. I became anesthetized to the beauty and skill of the works I was seeing. I feel kind of bad for art that is shown towards the exit; does it get the appreciation it deserves?

The Blue Window - Henri Matisse

To all out there: keep doing whatever you are doing. If its writing, keep writing. If its painting, keep painting. If its playing the accordion, keep playing the accordion. Don't worry that you aren't good enough. Don't worry that you aren't one of "The Greats." Don't worry when you type the wrong letter, use the wrong brushstroke or hit a flat note - keep going and keep looking at the art of others. Art isn't effortless but it can't be forced. Let your art appreciation be ever expanding. Art in its many mediums enhances all our lives. There is truth in this quote of G.K. Chesterton, "Art consists of limitation. The most beautiful part of every picture is the frame."

All the art on this posting is from 100 years ago, 1911.

Kandinsky: the chicken not the artist

My senior year of high school I took an anatomy class. One of the projects was watching baby chickens hatch and then hop around. I am not really sure what the lesson of this was supposed to be. Nevertheless, it was a fun project and an experience I remember well. Of course I named my chick and I didn't pick a common name but a profound and ostentatious one - Wassily Kandinsky after the famous abstract artist. Instead of having a study hall, I was a TA for the librarian which was also the school computer lab. Wassily, the chicken, went with me to the library. My chick was the best of all the chicks. Yes all chicks chirped but mine chirped in the must intellectual way. I wanted great things for my little chick. I didn't want to think of it being fattened up in some dark small cage just to be eaten. My Kandinsky was destined for greater things than that. I feared for him (now to think of it I am not even sure if it was a him). When his soft yellow fuzz gave way to a few feathers I knew the time was coming when he and all the others would have to go.

My anatomy teacher, Mrs. Vogt, was a kind soul. She knew someone who would take the chicks. I think she let me believe that this "farm" Wassily was going to was a good place; filled with open fields and running streams, where feed was plenty and all were friendly. At 17 years old I was still allowed a little naivety. Now I know that when someone older tells you that a beloved pet has gone to "live on a farm" what they really mean is that they've been "hit by a car".

Why am I thinking of this today? Because I know the truth about myself. If the only way I would be able to enjoy eating chicken again was if I killed it myself, I would probably never eat a chicken again. I'm pretty sure about that, 99% sure. I am not 100% sure because one never knows what will happen. I know that farmers slaughter the animals on their farm; it's the cycle of life, this years cow is next years pot roast and so on and so on. I begrudge farmers nothing; animal torturing slaughterhouses are another story. I remember watching an HBO movie about an autistic genius, Temple Grandin, who developed a humane way of treating cattle. It really made me think. We should not only care how we prepare meat for cooking but also care how that "meat" (animal) was treated while it was alive. After all this animal gave up its life so that our life could go on, we should respect that.

Gravitation - Wassily Kandinsky

I have no current plans to become a vegan or a vegetarian but I say to those who are "More power to you!" I respect what you are doing and the reasons why you do it. It must take great dedication, expense and sacrifice to live the vegan life. I admire it, I just have no desire to emulate it. I'm still on the fence about whether that makes me a hypocrite or not.... I read this a few months ago and it has stuck with me ever since. It is from the book of Jonah: "the LORD said,...should I not have concern for the great city of Nineveh, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left—and also many animals?” Funny huh? God could have left it at mentioning the people who need saving but he mentions the animals too... God's concerned with the small sparrow and chickens named Kandinsky.

virtual rule #6

Virtual Rule #6: Don't Kid Yourself About Kidding

“More objectionable than the garden-variety criticizer/gossip is the bigot-someone who makes joking or derogatory remarks about a religious, ethnic, or cultural group... Every time anyone participates in hateful ethnic, racial or other personal conversation-whether the comments are blatantly derogatory or couched in a joke-he’s practicing a form of intolerance. Taking part is not just uncivil; it also implies that he is willing to accept bigotry and prejudice.” (Page 288, Emily Post’s Etiquette by Peggy Post) 

People who shrug off deliberate deceptions, saying, "I didn't mean it, I was only joking," Are worse than careless campers who walk away from smoldering campfires. (Proverbs 26:18-19, The Message)

Hiding what you really feel behind behind a guise of "I was just kidding" isn't at all funny. It is at best careless speech and at worst tantamount to verbal bullying. Also, if you find yourself repeatedly saying and thinking "other people are too sensitive" you need to stop examining them and take at look at yourself. If you feel always on the defensive by others commenting that your words are too biting for fun maybe you need to work on how you use your words and tone of voice. This is something we all need to be personally aware of.

Obviously this does not mean that ALL joking is mean spirited or filled with malicious intent. Laughter is necessary to our overall well-being and the ability to laugh at oneself a valuable characteristic. The nature of the humor correlates with the motive of the humorist; examine the motives behind your joking. Are you joking others from a place of pridefulness? Are you joking others from a place of fear? Do you use humor hoping with your words to "bring down" others because you find them somehow threatening your self-image?

A side note on satire - satire is defined as the use of humor, irony or exaggeration in order to show how foolish or wicked some people's behavior or ideas are. It is a genre that uses mockery of society to shock that society into an honest look at itself. Sometimes I find satire like the The Daily Show funny and sometimes I find it uncouth, ill guided and pointless. People will not always agree on what is humorous, I accept that; but even in the world of satire one must be cautious with their method and ultimate aim. Something I find precarious is when one makes a joke about their own race or gender but is then offended when someone not of that race or gender makes a similar joke. Why is it OK for me to disparage the characteristics of my own race/gender or whatever it may be but for someone else not to? It doesn't make any sense. In our discourse let us not bring ourselves or others down.

Be cautious with the "kidding" you give others; the only joke in the end may be you.

a day of rest

Today was a snow day. Work was closed. It was wonderful.

Last night something happened that propelled distant dreams into possible tangible hopes for me. A minute can change your life; I'd forgot that can be true for good not just for bad."Out of the blue" a miracle can happen. Where you think not to look for hope, it is from there hope comes. The basket in the reeds, the youngest son out in the field, the manger of farm animals- God's miracles come from unexpected places.

This is a short post but I don't want to forget this day, this answer of my Father to my long internal cry. He heard me and answered; even my impatient doubts could not keep His goodness away. May I never doubt His everlasting love for me again.

"She gave this name to the LORD who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:13

blizzards are still beautiful

There is a big snow coming in Midwest America. It is February 1. Prior to December 25 we are trained and encouraged to think of the joys of winter; winter wear and being snowbound are pleasures to be sung about not things to lament over. The white stuff falling puts a twinkle in our eye and gets us thinking of sleigh bells and baking cookies. Once December 25 has passed we lose our zeal for snow and winter but winter has only just begun.

Today we take winter back from commercial Christmas. If you are suffering from a case of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) I encourage you to look anew for the beauties of winter. Ponder the way the freshly fallen snow collects on bare tree branches, marvel at the blanket of white as far as the eye can see, search out the snow prints of rabbits and puppies, look at a well built snowman and if there are none available build one yourself, make a snow angel and grab a cup of coco. Listen to the sounds of winter, don't rush it by; it has so much to tell us. Beneath the freezing cold there is the whisper of the coming spring...

 "You expected to be sad in the fall. Part of you died each year when the leaves fell from the trees and their branches were bare against the wind and the cold, wintery light. But you knew there would always be the spring, as you knew the river would flow again after it was frozen." A Movable Feast, Ernest Hemingway