virtual rule #2

Virtual Rule #2: Don't throw people away

The deleting of contacts from cell phone and facebook is not allowed. If you can't remember what they look like they can be deleted; if you can remember what they look like then leave them alone. This rule will prevent any need for later regret. In a moment of social self-loathing, the passive aggressive deleting of a contact may seem like a way of having control, but the feeling doesn't last. I say this from experience. Also, there is nothing so painful as to realize you have been cut out of someones life by discovering they have "de-friended" you. Who takes the time to do that?!? Who takes the time to go through their list of facebook friends and pick someone off? I don't get it.

In this age of disposable we need this rule. We need a rule to tell us the people aren't like the toaster or the home computer. People aren't disposable. People aren't something you use up and then decide your done with. People aren't objects to be collected on a list. People are living breathing image bearers, don't treat them like anything less. If the relationship is broken or floundering don't write them off and give up on them. Reach out to them even if all that means is staying away from the erase button.

What are your thoughts?

words aren't merely letters

"Words can wound the heart deeply" and I add to that so can silence. The absence of words can wound the heart just as much as a torrent of them. I remember hurtful things people have said to me; I also remember times when I needed a protector in words in action and there was only silence. Today I have been thinking of people who champion causes. If you're a champion of a cause you are vocal about the cause -  you see the problem and you care about the solution. I want to champion the cause of the racially oppressed, the economically squeezed, the emotionally abused, the physically tortured, the relationally barren...on and on and on - all for the glory of God.

While listening to Christmas songs sung by Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra, I wonder if their velvety voices projecting words of love to Christ really loved Him. I don't sing well and rarely in tune but that doesn't matter when it comes to sincere praise, does it. God says no where, "Only professional praise allowed." Honesty, sincerity, and purity are what God sees as beautiful. I went to a church service recently and sat towards the front. All the voices in song coming from behind me were such a joy and encouragement to me. Hearing the person next to me voice lifted up in song was so edifying -there aren't words to describe.

Well chosen words can wound or heal; may we use them to their fullest.

blue lights twinkle

After a long week of work it is my families custom to celebrate by ordering out for food or going out to eat. Last Friday we decided on fish dinners from Culvers instead of pizza or Chinese food. It was there at the drive through window that I saw the blue lights twinkle. A tiny little shrub was covered in twinkly blue lights for the holidays. Not all the lights twinkled on and off, only some. It was very beautiful and the image of them stayed with me. I thought about how we use fireworks when it is hot out and not when its cold. I thought about how though all light illuminates but not all light warms. I thought about the book "Blue Like Jazz". I thought about how we use strings of lights to outline our homes and trees in winter. Maybe we do that because we need to define ourselves from the cold and snow that surrounds us. It is our way of saying to winter, "You are not the shiz We are still here. We may be cold, we may be shivering but we are still here."

Today I am warm. It is bitter cold outside and I hear Christmas songs about blizzards but I started this day feeling a warmth inside that transcends outer forces; warm hopefulness in my heart and calmness in my soul. I want to make it last. I want to share it with those I love. I want to take a piece of the peace and bottle it for later.

virtual rule #1

Virtual Rule #1: Finish what you start

The first Emily Post rule of the digital age is that the instigator of text messages must respond. If you send a text message asking another person if they would like to get together, you must respond to their response in a prompt manner unless their has been massive blood loss or a close family member has become unconscious. I really don't see any other excuse for not following through on a conversation once YOU have initiated it. When you engage someone in conversation on the phone or face-to-face it is expected that you continue the communication you have begun. If you just sit there staring into space and are mute, the ability for meaningful communication is severely compromised. It is like serving in a tennis match - you keep your end of the bargain by attempting to swat back what is returned by the receiving end.

Example scenario:
Instigator texts: "Are u free to get together this week? I've missed u."

Respondent texts back: "That would be great! I am free Tuesday &Wednesday. Let me know if one of those nights works for u."

Instigator does not reply.

In the case above the respondent was courteous and prompt, giving the instigator options of two nights to choose from because after all the instigator left the entire week up for grabs by not being precise about exactly what day they wanted to meet. I guess what really bugs me about this is the instigator dangled caring in front of someone but than failed to see it through. Maybe sincerely they had the best of intentions when they begun but as my Gammy says "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." It isn't enough to begin something well it must followed through and finished well.

So the first social rule of the digital age is that the one who engages another in communication via text message must see it through.

Am I a wrong here people? Speak your peace please and if you have better terminology to use let me know; instigator and respondent seem wrong to me but I couldn't think of other words to use.

my God my Father

We Midwesterners know how to tackle drastic cold and deep snow- we stay in and watch TV. When reports that snow is "a-comin" we send a member of the family to the grocery store to stock up on staples and we make sure that there is a DVD in the house to watch. That is snowstorm 101. Netflix has changed this ritual slightly for now there is always a DVD in the house for it has been sitting there unwatched for two months. I remember the olden days of going down to the video store and reading the back covers off a wall of choices. My fondest memory is going there with a group of friends while together we decided what we wanted to watch. I can't for the life of me remember what we picked but I remember the camaraderie and informal diplomacy involved in making a choice together. Strange to think that the era of DVD rental shops is over; one more thing that makes us different from new generations and gives us the dreaded beginning words of all old people, "When I was young..."

There was a channel on the dish last night showing all The Godfather movies commercial free and it was this that kept me up till 2:30 AM. They lost me a little bit on the second one - I mean that movie is really really long but I stuck it out. I don't know if it was insomnia or film nostalgia that kept me awake. There is something about the character of Michael Corleone that is terrible and relatable. He did unconscionable things. He became a man that was feared and dreaded by those he was closest to and ultimately he ended up all alone. The third film is about Michael's quest for atonement and redemption. I don't think he started out in life intending to be an infamous mob boss. He had begun wanting to be different from his father and wanted to break away from their way of thinking.

What is relatable to me about Michael Corleone is his beginning good intentions. I wonder if life, war, lies and hypocrisy can wear a man down to the point of becoming unrecognizable to himself. I wonder if God blames us for being changed by bad things or blames the bad things that changed us. God when he looks over a man, sees all the way through him the way no one ever has or ever could. I know myself that I wouldn't ever want my own deeds to be used as my source of atonement and means of redemption. God's standards are too high, too holy and too marvelous. I would not even seek to use deeds I consider good before Him who invented and personifies goodness. What do I know of good before Him. It is only because of Jesus Christ I hope and I live. It is only with Him as my atonement before God that I have any peace in this momentary life and the eternal one after. This peace is priceless in cost and therefore priceless in worth. There is something about when a matter is settled that brings a breath of calm. Even when the choice made was a hard one there is a peace because at least a choice is made. That is how I feel about my having faith in Jesus as the Son: it is a settled matter. My only hope of it remaning so is that He holds it firm in His hand. Life may be hard and some of my beginning intentions will inadvertently get sidetracked, but I know my justification is not found in any of my deeds but in Christ alone.

I will seek with steadfast devotion to please Him and obey,
and when I reek of failure I will go to Him and pray,
"Never would I seek to shame You,
or bring disgrace upon your name.
Make me ever like You to the glory of Your fame."

virtually lost

I am starting this blog because of the encouragement of a dear friend. We were lost to each other for a time but found each other once again.

I am starting this blog because there are others like me who feel lost in this virtual world of facebook, myspace, twitter and text messaging. Emily Post gave rules of etiquette, a guideline of conduct if you will, a base line point of reference but this evolving virtual world of ours has no etiquette compass. Together we will examine what social decorum looks like in our technology ridden world of the PC, cell phone and Internet.

I am starting this blog because introverts can have extroverted adventures and vice versa. May we shed the labels and personality profiling that pigeon hold us and see the depth and diversity each one of us brings to the table just by being who we are right now.

I am starting this blog because its about time I stopped thinking about starting a blog and started one already. Take that procrastination! Life is made up of things we share with one another. Maybe your reading this and we know each other or maybe your reading this and we have never met. It is my belief that the sharing of words, ideas, thoughts and memories can create connection. May this be a connection in your life.