screw it

Just a quick reminder: if someone likes you, they like you just the way you are. It's not your clothes, haircut, tattoo, or music collection they adore; it's your wit, intelligence, character, and smile. Don't waste effort on the wrong things.

"God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:8) Working on my patience by increasing my faith. xo

the true cost of our consumerism

 

The number is now at more than 300 deaths in the Bangladesh clothing factory collapse that occurred on Wednesday.

May this image be burned into our brains when we see ads from American Eagle, Gap, Target, Wal-mart, Macy's, and whoever. Anorexic models hawking the"fine garments" of oppression, exploitation, and death - see it for what it is. May the truth change us. ox

**5/6/12 Addendum** Death toll is now into the six hundreds. Where is the outrage on our news!?!

many kinds of clouds

It was pointed out to me recently that there are different types of clouds. I guess that's probably common knowledge and rather blatant but it was an interesting realization to me. The technical aspects involved in cloud formation are over-my-head (I know, "tee-hee" eye rolling :)

 

Exodus 16:10 says, "...the glory of the LORD appeared in the cloud" and I say, it still does. Look up - whether they're cumulo, strato, nimbo - God's glory is in them. Even more remarkably, the glory of God is in us. The glory that we see reflected in the marvels and beauty of nature is a part of who we are; we were made in His image and were made to glorify our Maker. Too easily this is forgotten: don't let it be. xo

bad liberal?

Am I a bad liberal? It was recently pointed out to me that for a "liberal" I seem pretty unamazed and lacking in pride over our current President. Something to the effect of "he's black so liberals have to be happy" was insinuated.

This may be great or incredibly naive of me, but when I look at our President the first thing I see is our President - I don't think African American or black. His race just doesn't weigh in as a factor for me. The question I ask is, should it? Shrugging shoulders here because I really don't know. I don't think of the President as black, I simply think of him as our President, period.

I can't know what it's like to be black in America. I can't imagine all the emotions, struggles, challenges and difference they face in their lives compared to mine. I just don't know and I wouldn't presume to understand their or anyone else's feelings. All that hoopla over Michelle Obama's "...first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country..." comment, never got to me because I can't understand her feelings and I would never seek to say she was wrong to feel the way she did.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2008/03/12/alienated-in-the-u-s-a.html

Yes it's historic that he's our first black President but to me that doesn't mean he gets a free liberal pass on all his policies. Does ALL critical thinking have to go out the window when progress in ONE area is made? I think he has tried to work with a Congress that refuses to work with him. I think he's done what he could with what he had to work with regarding health care reform. I think he's tried to be a thoughtful contemplative President. I am truly thankful for that.... it's just... I'm hungry for more bigger and better changes. I want universal affordable quality health care like other Western countries have. I want better educational policies for our current citizens. I know we have problems when it comes to the whole illegal residency issue. It's not going to be an easy fix; I myself don't even know how I feel or what the solution is, but I want something to be actually resolved regarding the issue, and the proverbial can to stop being kicked down the road. I want assault weapons banned; no one needs one. I want a major reexamination of our electoral process and election policies because the money spent on them is ridiculous. I want a major overhaul in our prison and legal system; its insane the policies we currently have and the role race plays in them. I could go on with wants but you get the idea.

As a liberal, why am I not allowed the right to be disappointed when I think my President has fallen short in some area? I think he hasn't done enough at times to protect our civil liberties and be transparent. I think he's been sometimes too willing to surrender to Republican nasty threats. I think he sometimes picks the wrong issues to be bold over because he's either out of touch or just unwilling to go out on an unpopular limb.

So, am I a bad liberal? I really don't think so, I think I'm just an unusual one. I see my President as a human being, imperfect and flawed as I or anyone else can be. Perhaps the traditional view of "liberal" doesn't apply to me. Give me your definition and I'll tell you mine. ;)

feast in all the senses

when i had not the knotting of our hands, i had the day
it was glorious
more than i could ask for
certainly more than i deserve

when i had no knowing of where i stood, i had the ground
laid out before me with petals and pollen
the fragrances of blooming life
whispering and holding me near like an old lover

when i had neared the end of my aspirations, i had new ones form
before my mind, angels brought gifts
wrapped in fine paper with bright colored ribbons
i will not despair the future

when i had napalm applied to my hopes for us, i had dreams
tomorrows delights are a mystery
but not a loss, they will come
i will feast in all the senses and rejoice

the lost day

In Peter Pan there were the Lost Boys, well this was the lost day.

I didn't accomplish much. I took my grandma on some errands. I went for a mile walk. I baked peanut butter cup brownies. I did less homework than I should've (damn Pinterest). Here are some thoughts I will pour out in the 10 minutes before I go to bed:

I took my grandma to the graveyard to visit her mother's grave. It was a generational matriarchal event I suppose. As we were driving out of the cemetery, I saw there a young woman in jeans and a black sweatshirt with her long hair tied back, kneeling by a grave. There was something about the sight that gave me pause in my heart. There is loss all around us you know, one doesn't have to be in a bomb field in Boston or TX for loss to be there. Not all loss makes that kind of explosive noise that causes masses to take notice, nonetheless it's there.

I saw the flooding of two rivers. When water cannot be contained and reaches over beyond what is normal, we are reminded we do not control nature. We cannot make it stop. When a house is left untended, nature takes it over. When Winter's thaw causes waters to rise, we know how much the earth is not our own yet is what we call our home.

I wondered about the little red gloves left on a park bench on the walking path. Would their owner miss them? Were they even now looking for them? Sitting so softly and yet loudly there, I will not forget them.

I waited today. Goal for tomorrow, that the desire to wait for you will lesson...

HANA: If one night I didn't come to the tent, what would you do?
KIP: I would try not to expect you.
HANA: But if it got late and I hadn't shown up?
KIP: Then I'd think there must be a reason.
HANA: You wouldn't come to find me? That makes me never want to come here.
HANA: Then I tell myself he spends all day searching, in the night he wants to be found.

Don't we all.

in the middle of it

There are moments that feel like they're passing us by even while we're in the middle of them. Have you ever felt like that? I had an appointment this morning and had to rush or face being late. I hate barely arriving on time to things, yet despite this hatred, more often than not I arrive just early enough to be considered technically on time. I don't know why I'm like that but it's sort of a pattern now. I hate to keep people waiting because I hate being kept waiting. I tell myself, "Leave by this time to give yourself plenty of time," but too often time just seems to get away from me despite my good intentions.

This morning as I was rushing, feeling frustrated, and fretting over all the delays that just seemed to be making it all the worse, I barely got to appreciate the setting. There I was in my car, that knock-on-wood is running great, I had my Starbucks in the cup holder, good music on the radio - and blizzard conditions on the roadways. It's April in the Midwest so this really shouldn't be surprising. It was hailing down these pellet like beads of white frigidity onto the greening ground and blossoming buds, all in the presence of blustery winds and intermittent sunshine. There I was in the middle of all these contradictions and exceptions, and I felt blessed to be able to recognize its beauty.

I'm in the middle of a personal crisis. It's a quiet crisis; I don't involve others in my dilemmas as a rule because I sort of always handle things by myself. It's hard for me to depend on others because I don't want to get used to expecting help only one day to be found without it. Self-reliance, that's an issue for another post and a good therapist.

My crisis is this: I know I need to obey God regarding a matter of simple serious importance but I don't wanna. It's pathetic isn't it. Obeying God requires not getting what I feel like I want and that's just unacceptable to me. Shaking my head as I write because I know how horrible that is - how like a child of the Devil (John 8:44) for me to feel that way and to think those thoughts but there you have it. It should grieve me more than it does. It stings me but it doesn't grieve me, not that holy grief that makes a lasting change. It scares me that I am able to be so flippant regarding my lukewarm devotion to the only Being that matters.

What is it that makes us so willing to leap into dangerous things without knowing for certain its really right but so unwilling to trust God and wait on His bankable promises? What is it that makes obeying, trusting, fearing, loving God only ever something we should do?

Cop-out #1: If only God would show himself to me then I would believe. "[but] Jesus said, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.”(John 20:29) "'If they don't listen to Moses and the prophets, they will not be persuaded [by anything even] if someone rises from the dead." (Luke 16:31)
Cop-out #2: God can turn my evil into good, so it doesn't matter the wrong I do. "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?" (Romans 6:1-3) "So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus." (Romans 6:11)

In the middle of it all, God is there. ox