"Once you receive an invitation your first obligation is to send a prompt response...It's a basic courtesy, and will be truly appreciated by your hosts. Waiting until the last minute or until your host calls for your answer implies that you don't think much of the host or that you're waiting for a better invitation to come along." - Emily Post's Etiquette, 18th Edition
“I'm about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is (somebody) who didn't care enough to call.” Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not that Into You
I have been caught in the dreaded roulette of being too flexible, too available, and too nice. My social circle isn't huge and my time not infinite (work and nursing school to deal with) but introverted predispositions aside, I know that "social-ness" is important. I make the conscious effort to be social, to try to get out there, to make plans, all that jazz.
In the past, I have had a tendency to build my expectations too high. I don't know why I do that. Some of the best and funnest social moments I have had, have been impromptu events - no planning involved. I treasure those moments. I love when life offers good unplanned surprises; they really are the best most meaningful moments.
I feel that I have become a scheduler. I think college has played a part in that change. I just don't have time always available and I like to know what's going on and when because I also can be scatter-brained and forgetful.
Here is a scenario I know too well. Two people are texting about getting together for dinner, coffee, movie, whatever and it's just not happening. One person is available and the other is soooo busy. So the too-nice-one leaves it up to the other to make the arrangements, which of course they never do. God I hate that. I really hate being the planner all the time. I really hate making all the effort, keeping contact, all that stuff. Sometimes people who I haven't talked to in awhile, will make me feel guilty when we finally do communicate. It's so unfair. I may not have kept in touch but uhhh neither have you. Jesus. (Sorry emotional revealing rant there. Whoops.)
Please be prompt and don't lead people on about getting together when texting. Make the plans firm or don't make them at all. It's not right to show interest one day and not follow through. Be prompt. If you are taking on the responsibility of planning a get-together, than do it. If you say you want to do something with someone else, than do it. If you are always planning everything, and getting sick of it frankly, than stop. Don't make your life dependent on other people getting their shit together. If you want to do something, and can't find anyone to go with, consider this your loving reminder - it's OK to go alone. Really it is. It also might be time to try meeting some new people. (I know those words are like kryptonite to most introverts, but you know those few amazing people you know - well there are bound to be a couple more like them on the planet - right?)
Amos 3:3 "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?" Hell no. So stop trying to hold hands with people who aren't going in the same direction as you. Sometimes despite all their protest textually - they really just aren't interested. REMEMBER: People always make time for what is important to them. Your patience doesn't have to extend over their rudeness. All we have control over is ourselves; be kind, be prompt.
In the past, I have had a tendency to build my expectations too high. I don't know why I do that. Some of the best and funnest social moments I have had, have been impromptu events - no planning involved. I treasure those moments. I love when life offers good unplanned surprises; they really are the best most meaningful moments.
I feel that I have become a scheduler. I think college has played a part in that change. I just don't have time always available and I like to know what's going on and when because I also can be scatter-brained and forgetful.
Here is a scenario I know too well. Two people are texting about getting together for dinner, coffee, movie, whatever and it's just not happening. One person is available and the other is soooo busy. So the too-nice-one leaves it up to the other to make the arrangements, which of course they never do. God I hate that. I really hate being the planner all the time. I really hate making all the effort, keeping contact, all that stuff. Sometimes people who I haven't talked to in awhile, will make me feel guilty when we finally do communicate. It's so unfair. I may not have kept in touch but uhhh neither have you. Jesus. (Sorry emotional revealing rant there. Whoops.)
Amos 3:3 "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?" Hell no. So stop trying to hold hands with people who aren't going in the same direction as you. Sometimes despite all their protest textually - they really just aren't interested. REMEMBER: People always make time for what is important to them. Your patience doesn't have to extend over their rudeness. All we have control over is ourselves; be kind, be prompt.
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