screw it

Just a quick reminder: if someone likes you, they like you just the way you are. It's not your clothes, haircut, tattoo, or music collection they adore; it's your wit, intelligence, character, and smile. Don't waste effort on the wrong things.

"God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:8) Working on my patience by increasing my faith. xo

the true cost of our consumerism

 

The number is now at more than 300 deaths in the Bangladesh clothing factory collapse that occurred on Wednesday.

May this image be burned into our brains when we see ads from American Eagle, Gap, Target, Wal-mart, Macy's, and whoever. Anorexic models hawking the"fine garments" of oppression, exploitation, and death - see it for what it is. May the truth change us. ox

**5/6/12 Addendum** Death toll is now into the six hundreds. Where is the outrage on our news!?!

many kinds of clouds

It was pointed out to me recently that there are different types of clouds. I guess that's probably common knowledge and rather blatant but it was an interesting realization to me. The technical aspects involved in cloud formation are over-my-head (I know, "tee-hee" eye rolling :)

 

Exodus 16:10 says, "...the glory of the LORD appeared in the cloud" and I say, it still does. Look up - whether they're cumulo, strato, nimbo - God's glory is in them. Even more remarkably, the glory of God is in us. The glory that we see reflected in the marvels and beauty of nature is a part of who we are; we were made in His image and were made to glorify our Maker. Too easily this is forgotten: don't let it be. xo

bad liberal?

Am I a bad liberal? It was recently pointed out to me that for a "liberal" I seem pretty unamazed and lacking in pride over our current President. Something to the effect of "he's black so liberals have to be happy" was insinuated.

This may be great or incredibly naive of me, but when I look at our President the first thing I see is our President - I don't think African American or black. His race just doesn't weigh in as a factor for me. The question I ask is, should it? Shrugging shoulders here because I really don't know. I don't think of the President as black, I simply think of him as our President, period.

I can't know what it's like to be black in America. I can't imagine all the emotions, struggles, challenges and difference they face in their lives compared to mine. I just don't know and I wouldn't presume to understand their or anyone else's feelings. All that hoopla over Michelle Obama's "...first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country..." comment, never got to me because I can't understand her feelings and I would never seek to say she was wrong to feel the way she did.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2008/03/12/alienated-in-the-u-s-a.html

Yes it's historic that he's our first black President but to me that doesn't mean he gets a free liberal pass on all his policies. Does ALL critical thinking have to go out the window when progress in ONE area is made? I think he has tried to work with a Congress that refuses to work with him. I think he's done what he could with what he had to work with regarding health care reform. I think he's tried to be a thoughtful contemplative President. I am truly thankful for that.... it's just... I'm hungry for more bigger and better changes. I want universal affordable quality health care like other Western countries have. I want better educational policies for our current citizens. I know we have problems when it comes to the whole illegal residency issue. It's not going to be an easy fix; I myself don't even know how I feel or what the solution is, but I want something to be actually resolved regarding the issue, and the proverbial can to stop being kicked down the road. I want assault weapons banned; no one needs one. I want a major reexamination of our electoral process and election policies because the money spent on them is ridiculous. I want a major overhaul in our prison and legal system; its insane the policies we currently have and the role race plays in them. I could go on with wants but you get the idea.

As a liberal, why am I not allowed the right to be disappointed when I think my President has fallen short in some area? I think he hasn't done enough at times to protect our civil liberties and be transparent. I think he's been sometimes too willing to surrender to Republican nasty threats. I think he sometimes picks the wrong issues to be bold over because he's either out of touch or just unwilling to go out on an unpopular limb.

So, am I a bad liberal? I really don't think so, I think I'm just an unusual one. I see my President as a human being, imperfect and flawed as I or anyone else can be. Perhaps the traditional view of "liberal" doesn't apply to me. Give me your definition and I'll tell you mine. ;)

feast in all the senses

when i had not the knotting of our hands, i had the day
it was glorious
more than i could ask for
certainly more than i deserve

when i had no knowing of where i stood, i had the ground
laid out before me with petals and pollen
the fragrances of blooming life
whispering and holding me near like an old lover

when i had neared the end of my aspirations, i had new ones form
before my mind, angels brought gifts
wrapped in fine paper with bright colored ribbons
i will not despair the future

when i had napalm applied to my hopes for us, i had dreams
tomorrows delights are a mystery
but not a loss, they will come
i will feast in all the senses and rejoice

the lost day

In Peter Pan there were the Lost Boys, well this was the lost day.

I didn't accomplish much. I took my grandma on some errands. I went for a mile walk. I baked peanut butter cup brownies. I did less homework than I should've (damn Pinterest). Here are some thoughts I will pour out in the 10 minutes before I go to bed:

I took my grandma to the graveyard to visit her mother's grave. It was a generational matriarchal event I suppose. As we were driving out of the cemetery, I saw there a young woman in jeans and a black sweatshirt with her long hair tied back, kneeling by a grave. There was something about the sight that gave me pause in my heart. There is loss all around us you know, one doesn't have to be in a bomb field in Boston or TX for loss to be there. Not all loss makes that kind of explosive noise that causes masses to take notice, nonetheless it's there.

I saw the flooding of two rivers. When water cannot be contained and reaches over beyond what is normal, we are reminded we do not control nature. We cannot make it stop. When a house is left untended, nature takes it over. When Winter's thaw causes waters to rise, we know how much the earth is not our own yet is what we call our home.

I wondered about the little red gloves left on a park bench on the walking path. Would their owner miss them? Were they even now looking for them? Sitting so softly and yet loudly there, I will not forget them.

I waited today. Goal for tomorrow, that the desire to wait for you will lesson...

HANA: If one night I didn't come to the tent, what would you do?
KIP: I would try not to expect you.
HANA: But if it got late and I hadn't shown up?
KIP: Then I'd think there must be a reason.
HANA: You wouldn't come to find me? That makes me never want to come here.
HANA: Then I tell myself he spends all day searching, in the night he wants to be found.

Don't we all.

in the middle of it

There are moments that feel like they're passing us by even while we're in the middle of them. Have you ever felt like that? I had an appointment this morning and had to rush or face being late. I hate barely arriving on time to things, yet despite this hatred, more often than not I arrive just early enough to be considered technically on time. I don't know why I'm like that but it's sort of a pattern now. I hate to keep people waiting because I hate being kept waiting. I tell myself, "Leave by this time to give yourself plenty of time," but too often time just seems to get away from me despite my good intentions.

This morning as I was rushing, feeling frustrated, and fretting over all the delays that just seemed to be making it all the worse, I barely got to appreciate the setting. There I was in my car, that knock-on-wood is running great, I had my Starbucks in the cup holder, good music on the radio - and blizzard conditions on the roadways. It's April in the Midwest so this really shouldn't be surprising. It was hailing down these pellet like beads of white frigidity onto the greening ground and blossoming buds, all in the presence of blustery winds and intermittent sunshine. There I was in the middle of all these contradictions and exceptions, and I felt blessed to be able to recognize its beauty.

I'm in the middle of a personal crisis. It's a quiet crisis; I don't involve others in my dilemmas as a rule because I sort of always handle things by myself. It's hard for me to depend on others because I don't want to get used to expecting help only one day to be found without it. Self-reliance, that's an issue for another post and a good therapist.

My crisis is this: I know I need to obey God regarding a matter of simple serious importance but I don't wanna. It's pathetic isn't it. Obeying God requires not getting what I feel like I want and that's just unacceptable to me. Shaking my head as I write because I know how horrible that is - how like a child of the Devil (John 8:44) for me to feel that way and to think those thoughts but there you have it. It should grieve me more than it does. It stings me but it doesn't grieve me, not that holy grief that makes a lasting change. It scares me that I am able to be so flippant regarding my lukewarm devotion to the only Being that matters.

What is it that makes us so willing to leap into dangerous things without knowing for certain its really right but so unwilling to trust God and wait on His bankable promises? What is it that makes obeying, trusting, fearing, loving God only ever something we should do?

Cop-out #1: If only God would show himself to me then I would believe. "[but] Jesus said, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.”(John 20:29) "'If they don't listen to Moses and the prophets, they will not be persuaded [by anything even] if someone rises from the dead." (Luke 16:31)
Cop-out #2: God can turn my evil into good, so it doesn't matter the wrong I do. "What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death?" (Romans 6:1-3) "So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus." (Romans 6:11)

In the middle of it all, God is there. ox

desensitized to tragedy

With all the misery that happens on a daily, hourly, moment by moment basis, it's easy to become desensitized to tragedy. I just want to say don't let events of sadness, loss, and lack become something you get so used to you don't even notice them anymore.

One of the things I find unsettling is when someone not involved in a tragedy directly tries to insert themselves into the situation and ends up making it about them when it had nothing to do with them. Like the explosion at the Boston Marathon, the news here in Rockford was really lame, interviewing people who once happened to travel to Boston 10 years ago, as if their insights were somehow relevant to the loss and senselessness that happened there this past Monday. I just don't like when people who are uninvolved, who have no true connection or grasp of the kind of loss someone is going through, try to insinuate an understanding. It's lame.

I can't begin to understand what these people are feeling. I can't begin to know the depth of loss that is theirs. I won't even pretend. I will not toss cliched phrases and patronize them with patriotism or civic pride - honestly, as if the sting of lost limbs can be eased with the Red Sox winning.

It's important to not check out when tragedy occurs. Being desensitized can make it easy to just swallow any cock and bull story the media may try to dish out. Don't be desensitized to tragedy or to truth. xo

let it pour

"It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. I know, Lord, that your laws are righteous, & that in faithfulness you have afflicted me. If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction."

Psalm 119:67,71,75,92

 

let it pour: words on a page vs words of the mouth

 

Are words on a page easier to believe than words of the mouth? Are we more apt to adhere ourselves to written words than spoken ones? Are words formed with the movement of lips, tongue, vocal chords, and nerve endings more striking than what can be made in letters lacking presence? I leave words here to be read at your whim - does that change their value?

 

That's a lot of questions and they're mostly I suppose rhetorical. I guess I am fixated on lips today, well, on one set of lips in particular. What is that old quote from Lord Tennyson, "In the Spring a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love." Don't be so sexist Alfred, it's not just a young man's fancy that turns.

 

I have been thinking today about words. It is written that God spoke the world into existence. "The heavens were made by the word of the LORD, and all the stars, by the breath of His mouth" (Psalm 33:6) "God said let there be... and it was so" (Genesis 1:6-7)

 

What will be my last words written and spoken? Will I recognize them as such as they are leaving my fingers and passing my lips, or will their happening catch me off guard? God had the ability to create out of what He spoke. Do we, in a looser sense, have that same ability? Can the things we declare shake the foundations of another's soul? To that I say, absolutely it can. A simple smile, a single look, a tiny gesture, can change all. Words can impress, alter, effect, remind, enlighten, and reveal.

 

It's storming outside, in the middle of April showers here. Just like with rain, when it comes to words written and spoken: let it pour.

my impatience

"Trusting in the Lord can require that you abandon everything you've ever believed about what brings happiness and fulfillment."

 

Can I be honest? I have no idea what will make me happy and I worry that I might not ever know. I know what I am supposed to say: "God makes me happy" but honestly, it's a rare thing when I actually believe to my core that God and I want the same things.

 

Doubt. It's a terrible thing. It plagues me. I always wonder if things would be different, better, if only I was different - thinner, fairer, younger, smarter - if I didn't lack what I obviously must.

 

This is going to read like I am feeling sorry for myself and I guess really I am. I don't know what's with me tonight.

 

There is this scene in Gone with the Wind, where Scarlett goes to Rhett who's being held prisoner loosely by the Yankees. She's desperate for money to pay the taxes to keep from losing Tara the family plantation. She puts on this big act for Rhett to try and get the money she needs. He lets her, all the while knowing he wouldn't give her any money, and that she wasn't doing as well as she pretended to be. In the end, he says to her, "So you see my dear, you've abased yourself to no purpose." That's how I feel at this moment. It's the only way I can describe it. I feel like I have put on a big show and sold out in some senses for absolutely no gain; whatever "victory" I thought would come was beyond ill conceived; the jokes truly is on me.

 

How can God take me back? Want me? Desire me? Die for me? Love me? I CAN PROMISE HIM NOTHING. I have nothing to give that I can even call authentic. I feel so false. Such a pretender. My best intentions come to crap. How can he believe anything I say when I can't keep promises. Not one promise have I kept.

 

I'm so tired. Tired of being alone. Tired of being on the outside, ever on the outside. Tired of going through the motions it feels like. And more than anything, tired of being afraid. I can't remember the last time I felt safe. SAFE - just the word causes a tear to slide down my cheek. What do I know of safety? I don't want safety for an hour, for a marathon, for a year - I WANT SAFETY FOR INFINITY. I WANT SAFETY FOR BEYOND A LIFETIME. I WANT SAFETY THAT HOLDS ME DESPITE ALL MY FAILURE AND ALL MY GREAT FRAGILITY. Does something like that even exist? Is it possible?!

 

I still have not outgrown my greatest weakness... my impatience.

 

 

 

Read Psalm 119 (NLV)

open road dangers

There is something about a beautiful weather day that just makes you feel good. A day of sunshine after days of rain, warmer temperatures after bitter cold - the change beckons for acknowledgment. I was driving home from the market with the windows down and just felt so happy (Couldn't be because I am a loopy-sleep-deprived-college-student? Nah!).

Nature just is a part of me. True, I've never lived in it like a wild aborigine, but there is a part of me that feels alive only when I am in the middle of all that is the earth. I love greenery in all its many shades, the fragrance of soil, blossoms and pine, the feel of wind blowing my hair, the desperation that ensues for a Claritin tablet - I love it all.

There was this goose on the road I was taking home. It was crossing the small two lane road. Traffic was halted and all I could do was smile as the goose just couldn't make up its mind. It squawked at the nearby cars, beak wide, almost as though it was honking "This is my road. Get off it." It made me think how it had farm fields and near by ponds all for the taking but it wanted to be here near the road where it could get hurt, where it could cause trouble.

We like to think we are smarter than animals or at least birds but I don't think we are. Don't we, who have the whole world as our oyster, choose always the one thing we shouldn't? All we have is never enough for us, we have to look across the fence at someone else's yard. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 6, ""All things are lawful for me," but not all things are helpful. "All things are lawful for me," but I will not be enslaved by anything." I think we often enslave ourselves by careless choice. I'm going to share a profound nugget of wisdom I heard from all places, a Kid Rock interview . He was asked about his four month marriage to Pamela Anderson:

"Did you think it was a forever thing?" asked Smith.
"I thought it could be, yeah," Ritchie replied. "I wouldn't of gone in like that if I didn't."
The sting of the breakup changed his view of relationships.
"Uh-huh, yeah, you touch a hot stove, you get burnt, don't touch it anymore," he said.
"So that was basically it? What do you mean?"
"Oh, I didn't touch the stove, I like put both hands on it and held 'em there for like an hour!" he laughed. "I don't even go near the stove anymore."

There is something about what he said that stayed with me even though I saw the interview last November on CBS Sunday Morning. I think we all have an affinity at times to things that aren't good for us and being "smart" is learning what those things are and avoiding them. These things aren't always recognizable but sometimes there wrongness is just blatant and we pretend it's not there. What is the definition of insanity? Doing the exact same thing over and over expecting different results. The minute we hear the word "No," suddenly that object, want, desire becomes the only thing that exists for us. Forget everything else - wisdom, decency, maturity. Raspberry sound. Nope. We're not to bright.

I'm rambling. I guess the gist of all this is me thinking about what Paul said, "All things are lawful for me, BUT not all things are helpful." It's lawful to stand near a dangerous road sure but is it helpful? xo

privileges afforded/blessings counted

Sometimes I feel like nothing I do makes a difference, like nothing I contribute is valuable. Sometimes I feel so unnoticed it's like I near nonexistence in my state of matter.

Yesterday was my birthday and it felt to me like the day went extremely unacknowledged. I know that my perception isn't accurate. My birthday has been celebrated and discussed with my family for a few weeks now. I got two phone calls, one from my mom and one from my gammy first thing in the morning with birthday wishes and off key singing. I received a card in the mail from a friend and one in person from a classmate. I got a new smartphone last Saturday as a gift with no cost to me. I was pampered at the spa on Tuesday night. I got what I really wanted on Monday evening with the company I kept. My birthday truly wasn't unacknowledged and yet yesterday a feeling of melancholy still persisted.

I don't want to be a person that's difficult to please. I don't want to be person that can't appreciate the blessings in my life. I want to radiate gentleness. I want to lighten the hearts of others not weigh them down. I want to be touched in my soul by gestures and sights big and small. I want to be malleable to the beauty all around me.

In Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, there is a monologue by Friar Lawrence to Romeo who is whining about his banishment from Verona after slewing Tybalt who was trying to kill him. Here's a little summary of what he says:

"Thou hast amazed me. By my holy order,

I thought thy disposition better tempered...

What, rouse thee, man! Thy Juliet is alive,

For whose dear sake thou wast but lately dead—

There art thou happy. Tybalt would kill thee,

But thou slew’st Tybalt—there art thou happy.

The law that threatened death becomes thy friend

And turns it to exile—there art thou happy.

A pack of blessings light upon thy back,

Happiness courts thee in her best array..."

 

"Happiness courts thee in her best array..." Word. What a phrase. It's true you know, we can become so accustomed to the many privileges we possess we don't even appreciate them anymore. Count your blessings today, knowing you're a blessing to me. xo

wrong reasoning right

“Causing any damage or harm to one party in order to help another party is not justice... (it would be as if) I attacked fire, a very good and necessary element... because some people burnt themselves, or water because someone drowned...the same can be said of all good things which can be used well or used badly. But one must not attack them if fools abuse them.” Christine de Pazin

 

“Don't raise your voice, improve your argument." Desmond Tutu
 

I need to give a persuasive speech so I can finish the last general ed course to graduate next May. The persuasive speech topic I have choosen: why my community college should have smoke free campuses. That's it. Is it really that controversial a topic??

Smokies, it's your right. God love you. Just like it's my right to eat heart clogging waffle fry nachos from Granite City, it's your right to smoke that disgusting thing. However, I will add a wrinkle. When I ingest unhealthy food - it only affects me, it doesn't affect you. There are no secondhand consequences that cause immediate harm to you and your environment because I ate french fries, not like there are for your smoking a cigarette here in the place we both mutually have to exist in at this moment. They're not the same thing.

Can we say the word addict? Can we talk about addiction? Can we talk about what these companies put in their products so they keep you coming back for them so they can cruise around on 150 ft yacht instead of on a 30 ft one? I want to talk about that cigarette in your hand that you lit. Own it for Christ sakes, you lit it. Not me. Not God. Not Jesus. Not Obama. Not the mayor of Rockford. You. That's what interests me. What's really sad, it interests me more than it interests you. You'll live to be 90 and I'll drop dead at 40. Go figure.

The most ridiculous argument EVER - "I'm not going to stop doing this thing that I know is bad because there are other bad things out there." Really? That's all you got? That's your argument? Than why do anything? Why work?  Why buy your nephews Christmas gifts? Why pay your taxes? Why get haircuts and do your laundry? Why go on at all? Where does your blase attitude start and where does it end? Existentialism is not a life that offers much in the way of life options without hypocrisy surrounding one like a funky smelling mist.

OK then. I'm going to encourage every pregnant woman to drink vodka every day, after all the worlds a tough place fetal alcohol syndrome or not, right? Or I'll start a petition to rid the world of traffic lights because we all have to go sometime, so why not in a ball of blazing fire and twisted metal?

Bullshit. We all live and enjoy the lives we do because of rules. Some rules we like more than others but we all at one time or another depend on them, call upon them, use them for our benefit. We make choices and they make ripples that affect other peoples lives. We are not islands unto ourselves. I don't have all the answers, but I do know that in the end we are the sum of choices made by us and by others. It matters. It does. So go, do what you will - enjoy your vices approved and otherwise - I will grieve I will rejoice I will lament - but I wont ever toss it your face and when the time comes I wont refuse to show mercy when its needed because in the end its all any of us ever really have.

make new beautiful

My last 20 something birthday is less than a week away. I have mixed feelings as the day approaches. As you get older, the closing of a decade of living, seems to inspire more reflection than other birthdays or maybe it feels that way to me.

I told myself that becoming thirty wasn't going to be a big deal and on some logical level I know it shouldn't be, but emotionally is another story. I know this isn't my thirtieth birthday yet but its too close for comfort. Thirty is a goal birthday. "By thirty" is a milestone marker used by society - "by thirty I will have my own house" "by thirty I will be married" "by thirty I will have moved to CA" "by thirty I will be finished with graduate school" - thirty is a line in the sand.

Maybe I'm just feeling vulnerable today.

I'm in the middle of goals completed and I'm on my way to completing goals. I have accomplished something these last couple years - it feels good. I know it's important not dwell or think negatively about where and what I am, as if its not enough. A lot of things I wanted to be - a college student, a nursing student, part of a group - I am. It should be satisfying and it is, it is... but... why does there always have to be a but, an and yet? Why can't it ever just be enough for me, what I have?

Perhaps its just a matter of not giving in to doubt and discouragement. If I look not at what I don't have but on all I do - I should be happy, thankful, joyful, glad. There are those that long to be where I am now. I was once them and it felt like I would never get here and snap! all of the sudden it feels like, not only am I there but even past where I wanted to be. Not that I'm done, there is still further to go, but getting this far gives me hope I can make it further.

Is there a point to this post? Honestly, I don't think so. I guess I'm just feeling blue inside. I pray God takes this blue and adds to my life others who can with their unique vibrancy make new beautiful colors appear.

stalled days of Spring

stuck in the stalled days of Spring
i long to lay on the earth as its warmed by the sun
if i encase myself in its homey dust,
will I too bring forth something new?

to be planted
to have roots
to not be a wanderer on the earth

i want the feel of soil between my toes
the fine dark particles that is all life beneath my white fingernails
i want the smell of soil ready for planting
all around me like a mothers presence

does Spring come without effort?
does it struggle to break through Winter's cold?
will I grow to know all the sweet kisses of Spring?

thanks mom

I woke this morning thinking about my mom. I remember the photos of me at Christmas with my enormous play kitchen. I remember her stopping in the morning on the way to daycare and getting me chocolate milk and sprinkle donut holes. I remember when she surprised me when I was like ten-ish with a mom-daughter trip to Chicago. I remember her taking me to the mall when I was a teen and buying me Doc Martens sandals (which I still have and wear, my feet never grew) and a jean jacket from the Gap. It really wasn't often I didn't get things I wanted. I remember playing all the Donkey Kong video games with her over the years. I remember her instilling in me a love of literature, movies, and contemplation.

I don't say it enough, Thanks mom. ooxx

shared past

Going down someone else's memory lane is telling not just about them but about ourselves. Their story can offer a point of reference for innocent comparison against our own.

I have no desire to walk anyone down my memory lane. I don't always particularly like walking back through it myself; I choose to leave the past behind me.

I don't have what I feel is a fluid continuity to my past that makes its revisit particularly interesting. It was someone else who existed then - its not the same as what you see before you now (or maybe that's what I want desperately to believe). My connection to the past is quite severed. I have no childhood friends from then. The past isn't alive to me like it might be for others. What does it matter that I walked this street to school or that I skinned my knee here when I fell off my bike? I doubt those facts could possibly be interesting to anyone...

My past feels unshared and I wonder if its because so much of it has been spent alone. No siblings. Single working mom. I wouldn't say I was overall a lonely child but I was alone a lot. I didn't make many ripples or cause waves, I didn't play hooky or get sent to the principals office. I declined invites to partake of substances controlled and otherwise. I was boring, behaved. There was a part of me in some weird way that always admired and puzzled over those whose actions were so...dissenting in their nature. What was their motive? What were they saying by what they did and didn't do?

The door to my past is closed. I don't dwell on it anymore. I did. I spent a lot of time looking back which kept from me moving forward. I think there are times in our lives where we unaware live in the past. I think we do this becaue we're afraid to leave what we know so well or because we keep hoping somehow the past will make sense if we look at it long enough. Maybe at the end of all my musing, I fear the past - the pain that it caused still lives in the memories of the mind. Maybe I shut the past out to keep from sharing the pain - viewing it as infectious in someway - a bio hazard to keep from others...

What would I want for every child: that they have a continuity to their past, that they feel a sense of having a shared past, one of love and safety. Whether its in a town of a 100 or city of a 100,000 - I want them to feel that they always had a home, one of solid walls and, just as importantly, of reassuring constant hugs. May they never doubt their place of proper priority in their parents life and feel a clear fluidity flowing throughout all of theirs. xo

the stars also

"And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also." (Genesis 1:16, KJV)

 

 

 

Love how it says, "he made the stars also" like its an afterthought. "Oh, by the way, the 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 or 100 sextillion+ stars that exist, I made those too." How cool is that?

We take for granted the stars. In the middle of the day when the sky is blue, they're there. In the middle of a light polluted night, they're still shining brightly. They shine despite our ability to appreciate them, completely count them, to really know them. That knowledge fills me with reverence and make me feel small and honored and lucky.

We have to get away to see the stars but truly seeing them can help us get back all we've sometimes lost. xo