pigeonhole: to assign to an often restrictive category
Wouldn't it be great if the those closest to us were also the ones who were best for us? Wouldn't it be nice if the ones we lived with, if the families we were born into, if those we loved - were full of people who challenged us in a good way, gave us a push when we needed it, believed in us always even we didn't believe in ourselves?
It's easy to be blind to the things that make us who we are. I have been thinking about my family a little over the last couple days. It occurred to me that sometimes they tie together what they call "love" with blind compliance, sort of "if you love me you will do what I ask" kind-a-thing. It's not right. It's not fair. It's not normal. It's not okay. I don't ever want to equate or confuse love with some sort of compliance litmus test. There are plenty of fine people who might not do what I want, how I want, when I want - it doesn't make them bad or any less loving.
Here's the thing, this mentality of complete compliance being love, is dangerous and foolish. I don't control the universe (pause to fake gasp) and I'm also not the center of it. Just because I'm right once in a while doesn't mean I'm always right. Just because I do something one way, doesn't mean everyone has to do it that way. There's often more than one way to get to the same place. I will not be a person that confuses love with selfishness.
I don't know where it all got so tangled. I don't know why love became a noun and not a verb. I don't know why we stop seeing those closest to us multifaceted. I don't know a lot. All I know is that sometimes breaking free from the pigeonholes people keep us in, may mean we may have to sacrifice a few of our own feathers. To soar we have to leave the ground and those on it behind; may that not deter us. xo
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