leave it alone: heal over

There seems to be two extremes that happen after an injury. The first extreme is to ignore the injury altogether; to deny it exists, do anything (drugs, alcohol, etc) to avoid dealing with the hurt. The second extreme is to pay too much attention to the injury; picking at it, cutting it open again and again, never letting it heal over.

We all at one time or another fall into these extremes camps.

As I watched the fireworks from New York on TV tonight - I took stock of another year and where I was last year verses now. Unfortunately, events of last year have left me with scars of pain and hurt more than peace and love. That is the truth. I guess in the end I sometimes wonder if all our wounds are self-inflicted. Yes, others hurt us, but I puzzle over how much of that is our own fault. We ignore our conscience, suppress it, deny it, and misplace it, all in the hope of getting "what we want." Though having to deny the very thing that helps make us who we are, our conscious, is a clue it will never work, that never stop us. Eyes wide shut - its just a reality that happens to all of us from time to time.

I think I have written about this before, but I think some people are born with melancholy spirits that are destined it seems to live most their life alone. We're approaching 30 years now for me. Nothing is anybodies fault but things happen. I think it would be better for me to stop picking at the scabs in my life and hating the scars already formed - and to instead embrace them as evidence that Jesus and I will have much to talk about. I know that He is not a consolation for the miseries and disappointments of life, but it isn't wrong to eagerly await His insight into, His acceptance of, and His healing over of all wounds and inefficiencies.

There is much to be thankful for. On this night celebrating American independence, a celebrating of the end of tyranny, the beginning of something that was new, full of hope and light and wisdom and tragic beautiful humanity - there is much to be thankful for. I can see that. Please don't think from any of more morose posts, that I don't value all that I have here in this country and that I don't appreciate all it took to get us here. We have much to rejoice over every single day, easy or difficult.

I went on my nightly walk ritual last night and I had something by Andy Stanley on. It really hit me and I hope it helps you too: "Friends influence the direction and quality of our lives. The thing that makes friendship so great, also makes friendship so dangerous. When I am with a friend I drop my guard. The reason we are attracted to certain people is we are all acceptance magnets. We are attracted to acceptance and repelled by rejection - when I am with people who accept me I drop my guard. When I am with people who accept me, I am the most open to influence that I will ever be. Acceptance leads to influence. When I am in a environment where I am completely accepted, I am open to the influence of the people around me. Some of the most addictive behaviours imaginable begin as pastime fun with friends."