forgiving God

"Do you know what? God wants you to come to him with all your heartaches, even if you think he caused them. In all good relationships, we must go to the one that’s hurt us and tell them. If we don’t get honest with God when he’s hurt us, that chasm between him and us will only grow. That bitterness takes root and we find ourselves all the further off track without him." - from another blog, Living by Faith

I have been wanting to write a post on this subject for awhile. It's a difficult subject to address, I think because not all honesty is embraced in the Christian community. There is a ton of acceptance and applause for being perky, being upbeat, being cute - but not a lot of support for depression, sadness and confusion. I hope this blog is a help to those who don't have all the answers and aren't always comfortable with the patent answers they are given. There are seasons of genuine loss, grief, despair, confusion, loneliness for everyone. To deny the existence of those feelings is to deny a person a part of their journey, to deny them a greater understanding of who God is. It has been through my struggles and setbacks, that I have come to lean on God. When things are great or the status quo is being maintained, my spiritual growth slows to a trickle sometimes even reverses. I think here on this planet I need struggle and things to wrestle with to keep me grounded, to keep me humble, to keep me longing for Him. I know myself, "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out." (Romans 7:18)

My trust issues and ill-will towards God stem from my hurt pride in not getting what I wanted or what I thought I deserved. Truly its vanity that pushes away my ability to trust Him. I wish I could say, "I am this and I will always be this" or "I believe this and that will never change" but I myself cannot do even that. I myself alone have not the character to start truly or complete finally the journey of faith without Him helping me and keeping me. This is not an excuse to continue to do wrong, for saying "But I can't help myself!" isn't going to fly before Him.

Choices don't equal rights. Just because an option is open to us or a possibility/opportunity exists, that does not mean we have the unanswerable right to take it. Choices don't equal rights. They didn't in the garden and they don't here. Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, "“You did not make me”? Can the pot say to the potter, “You know nothing”?" (Isaiah 29:16). No, we were not made to glorify ourselves or to be glorified. No, an image bearer is meant to give glory to the Original Image not the other way around. Mans glory is to reflect God's glory and when it fails to do so, God is maligned. A powerful God need not also be loving and kind and merciful but HE IS. "In all their affliction He was afflicted, And the Angel of His Presence saved them; In His love and in His pity He redeemed them; And He bore them and carried them all the days of old." (Isaiah 63:9)

Forgiving God is about honesty. It's about really seeking out anew who we ourselves really are and who God really is. A big part of forgiving God is realizing the need to give God the glory He deserves. Forgiving God...as if...Oh God forgive us for our foolish muddled thoughts!

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28)