so great a sacrifice

Do you feel worthy enough of having Christ give His life for you? Do you feel He did the right thing (smart thing? wise thing? just thing?) in giving his life (His perfect, spotless, blemish-free, sinless, innocent life) for you? Maybe because it is traditionally what is called "Holy Week", I am pondering more heavily than I have in a long time what Jesus' life and death means. I am considering closely the words, "Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8) and this is giving way to my having a deep connection in my heart with the tax collector from Luke 18 who could not even raise his eyes towards the heavens where God dwells but who looking at the ground, beat his breast, and said, "God have mercy on me a sinner."

I have been gnawing over this issue today and my short answer to the above questions has been "No." I don't feel worthy of so great a sacrifice on my behalf. I don't think I am worthy and here is the kicker, it really doesn't matter what I think. It really doesn't matter if I feel worthy of such a sacrifice because it's not about me, at least it's not about me in any central sense. My feeling don't determine the truth either way for Truth lies outside of me and my fickle feelings.

I was feeling really low and down earlier while thinking about worth, Jesus and the mess called me. I was thinking of Him who deserved only the best that man can offer, of Him whom even mans best isn't worthy enough for. I was thinking of Him who deserves all honor, only the deepest respect and continual worship being unjustly convicted, sickeningly slandered, openly mocked, physically tortured, and unduly degraded. All this done to Him and he did not participate in the spectacle of his mock trial, He did not call for fire to fall from Heaven upon his slanderous accusers, He did not rain down curses upon his many executioners; instead in the midst of this horror, He prayed to God, He cared for His mother, was concerned for the welfare of future generations, fulfilled the prophecies and entrusted Himself to His Father.

This helped me at just the right time, Luke 15:19-24:
“...I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’ 
“And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
“But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry."

What God has redeemed let no man overlook.
What God has restored let no man reject.
What God has cleansed let no man defile.
What God has loved let no man despise.