Friday, April 15, 2011

virtual rule #9

Virtual Rule #9: Hospitality without the house

"It is unforgivable to be rude to anyone under your own roof..." -page 429, Etiquette In Society, In Business, In Politics and At Home, Emily Post

I snatched the above quote from a larger paragraph in which Emily Post is discussing hospitality but I would like to stretch it a bit. Being courteous and hospitable to people who are visiting your abode is a must of course but I  would change the above statement slightly to the following: "It is unforgivable to be rude to anyone who is under any roof with you." This means not just the roof of  your own home but any roof you find yourself under; at the dry cleaners, at the market, while dining under an awning or driving in a car - whatever place you find yourself, make it a place to showcase your hospitable and courteous nature.

If you cannot be at the least cordial with anyone you meet, anywhere you meet them - there's a problem. This is the second part I want to address. Snobbery is something that can sneak up. Don't be afraid to look others in the eye, whether it be the girl taking your order or the cashier rinning you up; whether it be the CEO of Facebook or the eccentric who might possibly be talking to themselves on the sidewalk, all our worthy of your equal respect. Allow yourself to be taken out of your busy and important day to say hello to a stranger or to hold a door open for someone else. (Take time to appreciate that you are not the only person out there. All the fellow cars in your way on the road, they contain people too. All the slowpokes in line ahead of you are waiting people too.)

Do courteous things not just for your stuffy Grandpa but for all people you come in contact with. Making the world a more civil place starts with each one of us as individuals choosing to be civil. Seemingly, civility isn't  always convenient but don't let inconvenience deter you from doing what is right. Don't whip out the manners only when you are trying to impress someone; keep awareness of others always on the behavioral table and then allow this awareness to turn into an appreciation for others and finally allow that appreciation to blossom into respect. Everyone is worthy of your attention and sincerest acknowledgment even if that means it takes you twenty seconds longer get to the next "to do" on your list. In the end it is people that matter most.

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